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Once upon a time, Kevin and I had a nice lazy afternoon after a night of Phish at Alpine. It was exceedingly pleasant.
That's what my boy Phil said about this picture, taken the day after he joined me in celebrating my Dirty Thirty birthday in the aforementioned manner.
I post this because Phil is no longer with us. His choice, his action; no explanation, only guesses. The first words from the first friend with whom I shared the news and put him in the ground were "God dammit! He had forty years ahead of him... and he was better than most people!" will stick with me always.
Phil was my boy from the beginning of college in 1999, when our dorm rooms were separated by just five doors, until about three weeks ago. Longer than most of my married age-peer friends have known their spouses.
Our many adventures on this Earth together included logging twelve thousand miles of road trips across this nation, including Radiohead headline appearances at Bonnaroo, Coachella and Lollapalooza. I've been to Bonnaroo ten times now, though Phil only came along for the ride about half the time. I know he's met some of you here, be it at a set, our campsite, or maybe even the brunch or two he attended even though he was but a lurker here.
I've been hearing a lot lately that Phil had the ability of leaving an impression even after brief meetings, so I just wanted to share since that could apply to some of you.
Not sure what else to say. It's been a rough few weeks on my end and I'm still dealing with facing the rest of my life without my best friend.
If you love someone, tell them.
And for my Bonnaroo purposes... pouring out PBR tall boys with our old college buddies I perennially camp with is an acceptable substitute for glass 40s, right? Or do I need some smuggling tips here?
I know we've discussed this off the board, but my heart breaks for you, Kevin. This post brought tears to my eyes, I can't even imagine what you're going through.
I knew Phil only from when we hung out at Bonnaroo and I have mourned his loss. The whole world has lost out on many decades of an amazing, warm and creative person.
As for the 40s, I'd say smuggle them in multiple hiding spots for insurance. I will text you some ideas.
Also Kevin, I love you! You are a wonderful friend and I am so very sorry for your loss.
You're just too young to grasp how stylin' I really was. All the boys wanted to do me when I was 5. Actually the girls did too. My haircut was confusing.
Hired. Guess I'd better start looking for places in Austin.
Congrats! Is it a university job?
No, it's actually a government program where students come over for 3 months on J-1 visas. They work while they're here and get an idea of what it's like to "live" in America.
No, it's actually a government program where students come over for 3 months on J-1 visas. They work while they're here and get an idea of what it's like to "live" in America.
My ex and I had foreign students stay with us for I think it was 4 years during the summers. It was really informative. Downside, they all were 19 year old French female students.... We always took them to the same places in Colorado because that is what they wanted to see, which made sense. I have been up to the top of the darn mountain a million times Upside: See the first part of the downside All of their parents were very well off (but I never followed their offers up to stay there etc.), and it was just a good and fun thing to do at the time ..... cr****
OMG you guys... GLOW IN THE DARK BUBBLES! Let's just say my laundry room, my daughter and I looked like victims of an orange glow stick bombing. Turn the lights on and all you could see was a floor full of clear bubble solution. The bubbles themselves don't glow much, but everything they pop on or around does. These things are AWESOME!
My grandfather sends me a letter each month and I normally save every one of them, but I think I'm going to have to cut off the second half of this one, which starts out "Stay away from gay people. Because you do not want to become gay." He had a bad experience with a gay sergeant in the military who wouldn't leave him alone, despite repeatedly telling him he wasn't gay, and I guess that's shaped his entire view of gay people, unfortunately. Really made my gut drop. I have several gay friends and acquaintances, but even worse, my aunt/his stepdaughter is gay (and one of the absolute nicest, caring people I know.) It just really saddens me that he thinks that way. I'd really like to write him back and explain that I have several gay friends and acquaintances and that they are all some of the nicest people I know and not one has ever tried to accost me, but I'm conflicted about it. I've talked with my mom about it and she said "don't even go there" and I don't want to get into any kind of argument with my grandfather, but I also want to tell him "Grandpa, Aunt Debbie is gay and we both know what a wonderful person she is. I'm sorry that happened to you, but not every gay person is like that, just as not every straight male is a rapist."
Anyone had any experience with this sort of thing?
I imagine the best thing is to just let it be and view it as a handicap, but it's just getting to me.
Last Edit: Apr 6, 2013 15:29:52 GMT -5 by Deleted - Back to Top
Let's just say I have a relative. They graduated from one of the 4 major military academies. They went to Iraq and was decorated twice. They now teach at the academy. They are gay and it kills me that their entire career might be gone if anyone finds out. Thus the "they" and the clandestine sort of bs I need to say even here. I love to fight, but in some cases, we might just have to wait for the dinosaurs (one is me I admit) to die and let the "new world" solidify a bit (just so the world can swing the other friggin way in 50 years grrrrr). cr****
My dad's brother (my uncle obviously) is gay and has lived with his partner for over 25 years. My parents had never hidden that fact from us when we were growing up. My dad would sometimes make a light joke about it from time to time, and because of this I would privately joke to them (when I was a very young child) that his partner was my "aunt". My father is also vehemently against gay marriage. He thinks it will lead to men marrying pets, or men marrying children. I always try to point out to him that: A. homosexuality is very different from pedophilia and bestiality, B. your own brother is gay and you have never disowned him for it, and C. homosexuals getting married would not effect your life directly, so why do you seem to care so much? I mean, to you, them getting married would be confusing or "morally wrong," but you would still live your life the exact same way. To them, it would mean everything.
My grandfather sends me a letter each month and I normally save every one of them, but I think I'm going to have to cut off the second half of this one, which starts out "Stay away from gay people. Because you do not want to become gay." He had a bad experience with a gay sergeant in the military who wouldn't leave him alone, despite repeatedly telling him he wasn't gay, and I guess that's shaped his entire view of gay people, unfortunately. Really made my gut drop. I have several gay friends and acquaintances, but even worse, my aunt/his stepdaughter is gay (and one of the absolute nicest, caring people I know.) It just really saddens me that he thinks that way. I'd really like to write him back and explain that I have several gay friends and acquaintances and that they are all some of the nicest people I know and not one has ever tried to accost me, but I'm conflicted about it. I've talked with my mom about it and she said "don't even go there" and I don't want to get into any kind of argument with my grandfather, but I also want to tell him "Grandpa, Aunt Debbie is gay and we both know what a wonderful person she is. I'm sorry that happened to you, but not every gay person is like that, just as not every straight male is a rapist."
Anyone had any experience with this sort of thing?
I imagine the best thing is to just let it be and view it as a handicap, but it's just getting to me.
I don't have much advice other than I think you should tell him what you want to say. I just had to comment and tell you how nice it is that he writes to you. I lost my grandpa in December, and the books he gave me with handwritten notes inside the cover are now so special to me I can't even explain it. Keep all those letters, even the ones you don't agree with.
My grandfather sends me a letter each month and I normally save every one of them, but I think I'm going to have to cut off the second half of this one, which starts out "Stay away from gay people. Because you do not want to become gay." He had a bad experience with a gay sergeant in the military who wouldn't leave him alone, despite repeatedly telling him he wasn't gay, and I guess that's shaped his entire view of gay people, unfortunately. Really made my gut drop. I have several gay friends and acquaintances, but even worse, my aunt/his stepdaughter is gay (and one of the absolute nicest, caring people I know.) It just really saddens me that he thinks that way. I'd really like to write him back and explain that I have several gay friends and acquaintances and that they are all some of the nicest people I know and not one has ever tried to accost me, but I'm conflicted about it. I've talked with my mom about it and she said "don't even go there" and I don't want to get into any kind of argument with my grandfather, but I also want to tell him "Grandpa, Aunt Debbie is gay and we both know what a wonderful person she is. I'm sorry that happened to you, but not every gay person is like that, just as not every straight male is a rapist."
Anyone had any experience with this sort of thing?
I imagine the best thing is to just let it be and view it as a handicap, but it's just getting to me.
I don't have much advice other than I think you should tell him what you want to say. I just had to comment and tell you how nice it is that he writes to you. I lost my grandpa in December, and the books he gave me with handwritten notes inside the cover are now so special to me I can't even explain it. Keep all those letters, even the ones you don't agree with.
I will agree with keeping all the letters. A small box is a small price to pay for the memories when you reread them, even the "bad" ones. I am not a hoarder, but I save things from my past like that. I have my ex's wedding dress from 30 years ago and a T shirt from basic training in .......SIXTY SEVEN.... yikes. Better not listen to me and smile a bit. cr****