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Post by strumntheguitar on Jul 6, 2007 7:50:09 GMT -5
After a rather complaint-free summer thus far, last night I'm pretty sure Hollywood took over my life and wrote the script for the wreck that is now my life. Here's the trailor:
I come home from hanging out with friends to a drunk father pissed at me for breathing, more or less. I then find out that my dog, which is the only "family member" I've ever fully gotten along with, has died after 13 wonderful years. I ignore my drunk dad and go up to my room and put on my James Taylor record to try and relax and my dad swings open my door and yells "you waste all your f*cking money on these goddamn records, no wonder you can't move out!" and picks up my record player and throws it across the room against my wall. Now that record player was also the only thing besides my dog that I could find solace in. On rough days I'd put on a new record and suddenly life was ok again. Now I've lost my dog and my record player all in one night, and now i'm pissed. My dad has wanted me to move out of the house for a while now, and I found apartments and the lease starts in August, so I didn't think there was an issue there, but apparently my dad couldn't wait until August.
I realize I'm not welcome at home anymore, so I get in my car and leave with just my guitar (luckily I wasn't playing that in my room or else that was liable to be left in pieces from my father too). I call my girlfriend to stay at her place and she doesn't answer her phone which is odd. I pull into the parking lot and one of my good friend's car is there and I begin to walk up the stairs to her 3rd floor apartment and interrupt them making out infront of her door. God knows how long that's been going on, but I just turned around and left.
Came to work, slept in my car in the parking lot... Now all I have left in my life is my job, which I've never really enjoyed. So, I'm leaving for this weekend, if not more, and going to the one place I've never been let down. I'm taking the rest of the money I've saved up and buying nice camping gear going into the woods and just living there until I can be accepted anywhere else.
Sadly, this means I won't be around inforoo except for when I'm at work, which I'm not sure if I'm even returning to next week because what's the point, really.
Sorry for this, I've never been one to seek pity, but I never could've imagined this happening myself and figured I'd atleast explain why I won't be around here much more.
Best of luck to all of ya, hopefully yours doesn't run out like mine did...
I'm really, really sorry strumn. I don't know what to say except I hope things work out for you and I'll miss you on these boards. I hope you do stay on here if/when you are at work. You are one of the people I enjoy and look forward to reading what you have to say.
I hope you have the opportunity to sort things out and hopefully find what it is you are missing in life. Maybe the woods will help you to empty your mind.
Post by strumntheguitar on Jul 6, 2007 8:40:18 GMT -5
Thanks for all the positive feedback guys, really it means a lot to me. Right now I'm thinking I'm gonna continue coming back to work (which means Inforoo 5 days a week still)
Just because everyone else has let me down doesn't mean I should let myself down, right? trying to stay positive here...
If you want to come to DC and hang w/us this weekend send me a PM. I'm still pretty sick, and not going anywhere, but we've got a jam on Sunday afternoon.
Drink, smoke, listen to some good tunes, cook on the grill. Only cost you the gas money.
Good luck man. Your story is similar to mine(except my lady has been golden thru it all). It will be tough. But, it will be rewarding.
Like the deepest of cleansing. I'd be willing to bet that you'll look back on this point and realize that it was the point where you CHOSE to leave all of the BS behind, and make accountability your path to righteousness. I know it may sound like mumbojumbo now, when you're faced with economic and other uncertainty/hardship to say the least. But in 20 years, when you look back, and add it all up.... You will be PROUD that you threw off all the baggage and did it yourself. That is a foundation that most people don't have who have been gifted the easy "normal" life. When it is only you and your memories, they will be a friend.
Be proud and work hard. It is all your doing from now on. All of the excuses that might have gotten in your way have gone away. Your canvas will be what YOU paint on it. Don't be bitter, be better. It was a gift to have been freed. Always do the best you can and leave the guilt and bad feelings for those who create them.
I'm a cynical old bastard most of the time. But there is a book that I have to suggest to you at this point. It is called The Four Agreements. If you read every word, and either dismiss it or ascribe to it, I believe it will help you and the kind of righteousness you will bring to yourself. I'd mail it to you, but the post office might have trouble with your "address", eh ?!
Seriously, though. PM me with a work address and I will mail ya one. Or just pick one up for about 4-5 bucks at a better book store near you. It's not jesusy by any means, but i bet it still helps. It is based on Toltec wisdom. They were a civilization existing in the area that has become Mexico in the post Mayan years.
Good luck to you on your journey. May you always walk in beauty !
Hey strum if you find yourself up in Maryland you are more than welcome to stop by for a drink, a shmoke, and a pancake... well maybe not a pancake but..
Post by strumntheguitar on Jul 6, 2007 9:15:31 GMT -5
wooz said:
Hey strum if you find yourself up in Maryland you are more than welcome to stop by for a drink, a shmoke, and a pancake... well maybe not a pancake but..
*best stewie voice impression* PANCAKES!?!?!
Seriously though guys, you all are awesome. I don't know where else I could say this and people that have never met me before just open their doors and invite me in to their homes. Although as of right now I'm fully content on living amongst nature for the weekend atleast, I really appreciate all the invites.
I'm really sorry for all the crap you are going through right now! ((VIRTUAL HUGS)) You will make it through to the other side much better off....your inner strength will shine through. Unfortunately it's life's rough spots that show us how strong we really are Yeah, I hate that too! Sometimes I really WANT to just stay weak - LOL! If you want to head south for the winter let me know....I DO know how to make pancakes Good luck dude! I know you'll be better than fine!
Post by strumntheguitar on Jul 6, 2007 10:57:00 GMT -5
Just to update you guys, things are actually looking up much faster than anticipated:
-Talked to the apartment place I'm living in august and explained the situation, they're allowing me to live there in 2 weeks, just gotta pay the extra rent obviously. -Friend of mine offered me his house for those next 2 weeks, plus he's joining me in the wilderness this weekend so i'll have company -Same friend, who is an electronics genius apparently, is building me a new record player. Even more sentimental value!
btw, you're in Roanoke... which can't be tooooo far from Gore, VA.. you should consider Camp Barefoot! last weekend in July, you probably haven't heard of many of the bands(I haven't either) but its an awesome experience, the vibe is incredible(its a very small fest, 1000-1300 people), and the tickets are not expensive at all.
Post by stallion pt. 2 on Jul 6, 2007 13:00:33 GMT -5
Damn strum. That's a shitstorm I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I'm sorry to hear about it.
I too often butted heads w/ his drunk dad. Remember, the problem is him, not you. On the bright side, we get along fine now (after 10 years of not-so-fine), and he still drinks, so I guess you could say there's a light at the end of the tunnel. and once you get settled in somewhere (be it the woods or your own place), you'll wonder what you ever did without the freedom to do what you want.
John: We don't even understand our own music Spider: It doesn't, does it matter whether we understand it? At least it'll give us . . . strength John: I know but maybe we could get into it more if we understood it
I know it's probably too soon to look at the bright side of all this yet....but with your guitar unscathed you've got plenty of material for a heck of a blues song.... ;D...when you can laugh a little more of course
Wow strumn, my heart goes out to you. It looks like your black cloud is already showing a little bit of its silver lining, I'm glad to see.
It is bad when everything comes crashing down at once like that. It always makes me wonder, okay, what is the lesson I'm supposed to get out of this. There always is one, sometimes it takes a while to find it. Grieve for your the loss of your dog, the loss of your childhood (home), and forgive your dad, he is sick and doesn't even know it. Be glad you found out about your girlfriend before you invested any more of yourself into a relationship that .... well with friends like that, you know what they say. The loss is theirs, 'cause you are surely a cool dude.
*i like coconuts, you can break them open they smell like ladies lyin in the sun** *Hell I don't even know where I am** *for now I must sit here and ponder the yonder: The herbivores did well cause their food didn't never run** *We listen, if it feels good We shake** *You made a big impression for a girl of your size, Now I can't get by without you and your big brown eyes.**
Yeah, I hate that too! Sometimes I really WANT to just stay weak - LOL! If you want to head south for the winter let me know....I DO know how to make pancakes 
I do whatever my Rice Krispies tell me to...