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Ok, heres the deal.. I have a friend who complains constantly. He has an average life, two living parents who care about him, a good job, and a company he will one day inherit. He complains about every damn thing that happens to him... and I'm really tempted to say "dude.. man up, and deal with it. Quit bithing to me and all of your other friends and enjoy what you have, life is short"
Any suggestions?
A bit of the reason I'm pissed about this: I was born with an eye disorder called ocular albinism. My vision is 20/200 and is not correctable via glasses, contacts, anything. I can't drive, and was told straight up by my eye doctor that I wouldnt be able to drive for atleast another 5 years(from now). (Actually, I really like the guy.. no bullshit, straight answers). I'm thankful that I am able to see. I can still enjoy many things, and I see no reason why complaining to anyone would help me out. I came to terms with the fact that I'd not see any sort've corrective surgery until I was 30 or more when I was around ten years old. I just don't think complaining and sympathy seeking does any good for anyones situation, and I think my friend needs to learn to suck it up and deal.
Sorry for the rant.. but, can anyone suggest anything nicer to say? This is a good guy, hes just a pessimist and I need to turn em around. Complaining doesnt do nuts for anyone except make them more depressed.... Go enjoy a sunset, stare at the stars, listen to a good tune, and deal.
"White collar conservative flashin down the street, pointing that plastic finger at me, they all assume my kind will drop and die, but I'm gonna wave my freak flag high." Jimi Hendrix
Post by oatmealschnappz on Jun 2, 2007 22:25:59 GMT -5
You had the answer the whole time.
wooz said:
"dude.. man up, and deal with it. Quit bithing to me and all of your other friends and enjoy what you have, life is short"
The truth can be ugly. The truth can be painful. The truth can be unpleasant. The truth can be uncomfortable. The truth can be inconvenient. The truth can suck.
But it's the truth....and that's all that matters.
Last Edit: Jun 2, 2007 22:27:32 GMT -5 by oatmealschnappz - Back to Top
Post by spookymonster on Jun 2, 2007 22:28:30 GMT -5
oatmealschnappz said:
You had the answer the whole time.
The truth can be ugly. The truth can be painful. The truth can be unpleasant. The truth can be uncomfortable. The truth can be inconvenient. The truth can suck.
But it's the truth....and that's all that matters.
Very Buddha of you... the koan of Oatmealschnappz.
well its good you told him. hopefully he stops complaining about stuff to you. i live with a complainer... i usually just tell her to shut up, or i read inforoo while she's giving me the hourly rundown of her problems. the thing that annoys me is that after she complains to me, she's gotta call about 56 of her friends to complain about the exact same things.
I have a very similar friend, who freaks out of the stupidest stuff, never is happy with anything and always put his problems on me. Last week his car got towed and he went crazy. Totally freaked out and said he wanted to end his life (he is a huge drama queen) i offered to pay for it, to come pick him up, to do anything he needed and all he could do was yell at me. i told him to grow the F up. i said he had to act like an adult and deal with it.
he said he didnt want a friend who was rude to him like me.... i was just being honest. hopefully your friend understands your doing it out of love. my didn't.
I have a similar question, and can totally relate... How can you get a girlfriend to stop complaining, about everything?! Oh, and obviously in a softer, subtler way?
Post by ziggyandthemonkeys on Jun 3, 2007 0:58:56 GMT -5
higgi said:
I have a similar question, and can totally relate... How can you get a girlfriend to stop complaining, about everything?! Oh, and obviously in a softer, subtler way?
Years ago a had a (great) boss who set me straight on this. I guess I had a habit of bitching too much at work . He explained once that he would be happy to sit and listen for hours to me if I had ideas for solutions, but without a plan for fixing things I was wasting my time and his.
I took it to heart and have condensed his lesson into one relatively inoffensive question I ask other bitchers now:
Wow ratslrad, good answer!!! Karma for that and to oat when I get more. Try getting cancer a COUPLE of times. That sh*t puts things in perspective really fast. You see life in a whole different light.
Sorry to hear Wooz. I like your outlook on life, though!
I have a similar problem...my brother. He's a chronic complainer and every time we talk it's always about him. I don't talk to him that often because of that. I hate to say it, but it's true. I still love him, but he brings me down. I have my own problems without having to be sucked into his.
I am happy you just told him what you were thinking. There's no other solution! Hope he realizes you're right.
^^^I like this response. Just warn him or her before you do it. "Dude, this is totally out of love, and I don't want you to take this the wrong way." "What do you mean?".....................SLAP!!!! ;D
^^^I like this response. Just warn him or her before you do it. "Dude, this is totally out of love, and I don't want you to take this the wrong way." "What do you mean?".....................SLAP!!!! ;D
You know, on some people... this might just be what it takes
Also, I definately second poops notion that oat is a wise meal
Post by ziggyandthemonkeys on Jun 3, 2007 15:28:11 GMT -5
ratskrad said:
Years ago a had a (great) boss who set me straight on this. I guess I had a habit of bitching too much at work . He explained once that he would be happy to sit and listen for hours to me if I had ideas for solutions, but without a plan for fixing things I was wasting my time and his.
I took it to heart and have condensed his lesson into one relatively inoffensive question I ask other bitchers now:
"How can you make it better?"
Thats actually what i usually tell people. If you don't wanna do anything about it, why even talk about it. Unfortunately most of the people just get flustered when you say this, but its the truth.
Post by crazykittensmile on Jun 3, 2007 15:57:36 GMT -5
ziggyandthemonkeys said:
higgi said:
I have a similar question, and can totally relate... How can you get a girlfriend to stop complaining, about everything?! Oh, and obviously in a softer, subtler way?
i was just being honest. hopefully your friend understands your doing it out of love. my didn't. 
. He explained once that he would be happy to sit and listen for hours to me if I had ideas for solutions, but without a plan for fixing things I was wasting my time and his. 
