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To all of my fellow Irish brothers and sisters, HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!
May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be always at your back, May the sun shine warm upon your face, and the rain fall soft upon your fields, and until we meet again, May God hold you in the palm of His hand.
Also may your pints O'Guiness be many and full!!!!!
So I had made plans last night to hang out with this chick. We've seen each other maybe 4-5 times now. She was going to come over and watch basketball, no big date plans or anything.
Yesterday around 2pm I txt her and tell her to come over around 8pm. No response. At about 7pm I txt her again and say "I guess just shoot me a txt whenever you get this". No response. I didnt txt again after that.
Today, she finally txts me and it reads "I'm sorry I didn't text you back. I had a bad day yesterday and just wanted to be alone. I should've let you know. Sorry".
So I had made plans last night to hang out with this chick. We've seen each other maybe 4-5 times now. She was going to come over and watch basketball, no big date plans or anything.
Yesterday around 2pm I txt her and tell her to come over around 8pm. No response. At about 7pm I txt her again and say "I guess just shoot me a txt whenever you get this". No response. I didnt txt again after that.
Today, she finally txts me and it reads "I'm sorry I didn't text you back. I had a bad day yesterday and just wanted to be alone. I should've let you know. Sorry".
WTF?
lol
'next' her. she is either full of shit or inconsiderate. Either way NEXT!
Post by purplefuzzystuff on Mar 18, 2012 1:10:10 GMT -5
Oh man, you guys. I've had a few beers, watched a few episodes of 'Doomsday Preppers' and I have a bonus check from work burning a whole in my pocket.....
I sense my mailbox is gonna be pretty full in a few days........<<<And I sang that
Also, I didn't follow some of the lingo used in the posts above, but anyone, male/female, friend/date that makes plans with you and then bails without even letting you know isn't worth the energy...... Inconsiderate people drive me crazy!
Yeah. I got with a nice girl from New Year's and things were going good. But a month later she went on a ski trip with a "friend" to Utah. Next thing I know she stops returning my calls/texts. And made excuses whenever she got them. Why can't women be direct or stop giving us lame excuses? Am I right fellas?
But Phi,I wouldn't next her quite yet. That type of response is unlike the other excuses they normally give. I say figure out what happened, then use your judgement. The last thing you want to do is look like a douche when something bad happenend to her (ie death in the family or something else).
If you keep after her she will never respect you Phi. You can't make a girl like you, you can only make her like you less and by accepting this kind of behavior you are telling her you are willing to be a doormat. No respect = no attraction. And you're toast. If she wants you she will come after you (subtly). Write her off. It makes you more attractive.
If she wants you she will come after you (subtly). Write her off. It makes you more attractive.
BRAVO for the 1st part: yes, if she wants you, she WILL come after you.
BOO HISS to the 2nd part: writing her off does NOT make you more attractive. It makes you look like an insensitive, uncaring schmuck whose sole objective is getting laid. You want to make a chick come around? Listen to her ON HER TERMS, WHEN SHE'S READY TO TALK. Just because she wanted alone time doesn't mean she always wants to be alone. Jury's right: give her some time. It sounds like she's handling her drama ON HER OWN instead of dragging you into it. This means she's got a head on her shoulders (HUGE PRO!) even if she isn't considerate enough to communicate (SLIGHT CON). Hell, I do the same thing. Most women do from time to time. In this case, the huge pro outweighs the slight con. But if she does it again, then the slight con turns into a HUGE CON, which then completely wipes out the HUGE PRO. That's when you NEXT! her.
So I had made plans last night to hang out with this chick. We've seen each other maybe 4-5 times now. She was going to come over and watch basketball, no big date plans or anything.
Yesterday around 2pm I txt her and tell her to come over around 8pm. No response. At about 7pm I txt her again and say "I guess just shoot me a txt whenever you get this". No response. I didnt txt again after that.
Today, she finally txts me and it reads "I'm sorry I didn't text you back. I had a bad day yesterday and just wanted to be alone. I should've let you know. Sorry".
Post by Dave Maynar on Mar 18, 2012 17:04:12 GMT -5
I got to go with NoD, holls and Jury on this one.
You should find out what was going on first before you summarily dismiss her. You would come out looking like a massive jerk if it was a legit thing that came up and not just her making an excuse. As you don't apparently know each other that well, I don't think you have a claim to the immediate return of your text especially if it was something legit wrong going on.
Post by abrakapokus on Mar 18, 2012 18:17:37 GMT -5
You know, she should have let you know, like she said. Your whole day's plans are hinged on her and she can't just simply text you back and say, "Hey bad day, I won't be coming over. Text you when I feel better." How long does that take? See it's not what you should do from here because maybe she does deserve another chance but it's what you should learn from this. Remember that she did this once and if it happens again you should mark her off and if she doesn't confirm plans that day go ahead and make other plans, don't wait on her to text you back. People like this get on my last nerve and I'll tell you, rarely is it a one time thing. It's usually a string of inconsiderate moves and excuses.
BOO HISS to the 2nd part: writing her off does NOT make you more attractive. It makes you look like an insensitive, uncaring schmuck whose sole objective is getting laid
Eh - sorry. I respectfully disagree.
Having the confidence to say "no, I will not accept this kind of behavior from anyone - even if I am interested in you" helps to build self respect, self esteem, and even more confidence.
Confident men are more attractive than weak men. Its a fact.
I didn't mean blowing her off makes him more attractive to HER. What I meant was standing up for yourself and not accepting unacceptable behavior make you more attractive to ALL women.
But the bottom line is - she was at the LEAST inconsiderate. I refuse to date inconsiderate women. What she did was completely RUDE. The ONLY acceptable excuse for something like this is if she had a death in her family or someone very close to her. Outside of that? there is no excuse.
Rude. Plain and simple. If you accept rude in the beginning, you will accept rude later. And that is weak.
The only excuse for not responding to a text of a dude you've seen a few times is a death in the family? Are you serious?
People have all different sorts of stuff going on, depression, anxiety, hell, maybe the plans were vague and she just left her phone somewhere.
Yes I'm serious. Not responding, knowing they had plans is straight up rude and inconsiderate. It takes 10 seconds to send a text. She made a conscious decision to ignore him. It's that simple. And I refuse to accept that kind of behavior in my life. I don't care who you are or what bullshit story you have for me. That is unacceptable to me.
BOO HISS to the 2nd part: writing her off does NOT make you more attractive. It makes you look like an insensitive, uncaring schmuck whose sole objective is getting laid
If you accept rude in the beginning, you will accept rude later. And that is weak.
Dude, that's not weak; it's COMPASSIONATE! (adj. \kəm-ˈpa-sh(ə-)nət\ granted because of unusual distressing circumstances affecting an individual)
I didn't suggest that he become a doormat, forcryinoutloud! I meant he should BE WILLING TO HEAR HER OUT before completely dismissing her. That's common courtesy and common sense, neither of which are indicative of weakness.
Do you sell your car the first time you have a flat tire? It inconveniences you and it's a pain in the neck to experience, right? If you accept a flat tire once, you will accept flat tires from that car in the future. Might as well say NEXT! and get a new one. Anything else is a sign of weakness, right?
News flash to you men: women (well, the ones who are looking for more than physical gratification) care less that you have a huge package if you don't show - from the start - that you have a huge heart. That's infinitely more important.
I agree with the majority of what you're saying but don't try to portray women as completely unshallow. I've yet to be convinced the average women is any less shallow than the average man
Holls... Although I agree with you in principle, you are not picking up what I am laying down.
"hey, Im having a bad day. I cant get together tonight, maybe some other time" takes 10 seconds. If she is like most of us, she got his text about going out that night and CHOSE not to respond. Its not being discompassionate about her situation, it is about her rude behavior.
If she responds to a shakeup by being rude, although I understand she is going through a rough time, I don't want to deal with that. Sorry.
Platinum rule: Treat others how THEY want to be treated. Do you really think Phi wanted to be blown off with no response and no explanation? Totally ignored when he planned on taking her out? Knowing that she more than likely got his text and decided to say "ah, eff him, Im not going to say squat"??/
No. He didn't want to or deserve to be treated that way. She was rude. That is my problem, not the fact that she has something going on.
