1. For every ten pages minimum in the main headliner thread or 72 hours have passed 2. I'll be updating at totally random times of the day, depending on how bored I am or how much I procrastinate. I might be posting updates at 3AM who knows. 3. Not more than one per day (unless something crazy happens)
Tool - Tame Impala - Lizzo are headling Bonnaroo Episode 1: TooL 12/17/19 Pages spanned: 184-188 Is this worth recapping?: I mean sure why not Insider: NO Infintypass: YES Entertainment value: 5 Info value: 8 (We got a second confirmation for Tool by Infintypass, 4th Roo Clue is either Superorganism or King Gizzard....both would be nice)
Path of discussion: "Thank God no one is doing a headliner thread recap this year" > 90's one hit wonders > 4th Roo Clue is posted > It's not as obvious as all of the others > It's either Superorganism or King Gizzard > People argue about the word "mind" > Tranter reminds everyone to keep this discussion in the correct thread > Headliner Thread is only for TV show rankings > Tripperfish somehow gets people to think Tool isn't headlining anymore > The Strokes are definitly not replacing Tool > We need a slam dunk #1 > Tool puns > WIDESPREAD PANIC!!! > Holiday diets > I promise to get the recap thread up tonight > INFINITYPASS CONFIRMS TOOL! > now what do we argue about > Infinitypass isn't going to give us more scoops today > But when in doubt inforoo can always argue about MMJ > Some egg head with 15 posts tries to lecture inforoo about My Morning Jacket > egg head takes obvious bait
Episode 2: Hot Takes! Get Your Terrible Hot Takes!
12/23/19 Pages spanned: 188-200 Is this worth reccaping: Not at all Insider: NO Infinitypass: Yes, but on page 189 shortly after the last recap Entertainment Value: 3 Info Value: 4 (Still Woozy is 5th Roo Clue)
Path of discussion: more MMJ discussion and worst possible conflicts > infinitypass doesn't think MMJ is happening but never say never > likely confirming the reddit guy is a fraud (who would lie on reddit!?) > pathetic begging for infinitypass to confirm more artists > Inforoo loves their wives > for some reason Launchpad is brought up > Still Woozy is 5th Roo Clue > Still Woozy is definitely NOT an emo rapper > some disscusion about who would be in the 4-7 range > Summercamp lineup is released (some possible crossover?) > "Are there still no substantial hip hop rumors? And no I dont consider Lizzo a hip hop act" leads to a string of terrible jokes, what are we fucking reddit? > Nine Inch Nails is brought up, but no way are we getting both Tool and Nine Inch Nails. Can't attract that many dudes wearing black t-shirts and jeans to Bonnaroo. > Piff the Magic Dragon is brought up and I get PTSD flashbacks from the Bonnaroo 2016 lineup announcement > King Gizz is in Europe first week of June > Everyone got hyped up for King Gizz late night for no reason (but there's still hope) > Tripperfish pathetically tries to troll everyone again with The Who > The Who is definitely not a #4 behind Lizzo and Tame Impala > 2020 is not technically the start of the new decade? What is this nonsense? > most inforooers are only here to provide the occasional chuckle > ACL’s 7th and 12th names this year are Bonnaroo’s 2nd and 3rd names next year > Some awful hot takes comparing Lizzo and Frank Ocean > The worst Star Wars ranking I've ever seen > Some more unacceptable Frank Ocean slander > Sorry Bonnaroo has nothing for you house/trance fans > Turns out the guy with the cookie pic is judging Frank Ocean off a show he saw 8 years ago.
Mock of the day: not really any interesting mocks this time
3/16-Cage the Elephant and As Tall As Lions 3/24-Mancester Orchestra 3/26- Flying Lotus 3/27-The Bronx 4/1-Flying Lotus 4/9-Bassnectar 4/10-Girls 4/15-Dr. Dog 4/16- Dosh 4/21-Gogol Bordello and Devotchka 4/23-Flaming Lips, Dead Weather 4/30- Yeasayer 5/2- My Morning Jacket 5/10- Local Natives 5/11- Simon and Garfunkel 5/15- Coheed and Cambria and Circa Survive 5/29-31- DEMF 6/6-she and him
1/2/20 Pages spanned: 200-221 Is this worth recapping: Not really Insider: NO Infinitypass: NO Entertainment Value: 4 Info Value: 4 (J.I.D, Pigeons Playing Ping Pong, and Nelly are our last Roo Clues)
Path of discussion: JID is a Roo Clue > random on reddit says Bassnectar is playing > PPPP is next Roo Clue > inforoo will be the only ones annoyed by this > some arguing whether or not it really is PPPP but final hint confirms it > PPPP playing two sets > inforoo also has a history of expectation fallacies for bonnaroo > "Andy Frasco & the U.N." self-confirmed via DM for Roo, according to reddit. (probably a Thursday act) > some possible metal bookings (a lot of non metal bands are brought up) > Hayley Williams is releasing solo material > Three Six Mafia reunion > Delicious Meatball Sub gets drunk and claims to have seen a big chunk of the lineup > "you guitar rock dead-enders are gonna shiz your pants" > Well this is at least is more interesting than all of the other sad attempts to troll in this thread > DMS explains himself, doesn't want to give too much away but the lineup is sort of similar to 2013 and we got one country legend (not Dolly ) > Everyone gets way too excited and sets themselves up for future disappointment > Nelly is last Roo Clue > This year's Roo Clues seem underwhelming > jongilbert claims Sylvan Esso is leading the Superjam > Nelly at Bonnaroo sounds like fun until you actually experience it > Also Nelly is a creep > possible country legends > Billboard's top rock songs of the decade has zero rock songs > Tripperfish makes more terrible posts > more MMJ speculation because why not > happy new year! > Lineup 1/7
we have a history of expectation fallacies for bonnaroo:
-the "Fourth Headliner" fallacy, wherein we assume Paul McCartney etc. must also be performing when we are disappointed with the rumored headliners. -the "Thursday Headliner" fallacy, wherein we assume they will open the what/which on Thursday for one very special big name. -the "Headliner Curated Superjam" fallacy, wherein we assume that Jack White or Eddie Vedder etc. will curate a superjam, when the biggest name to ever curate a Superjam is Skrillex. -the "Sit-In/Special Guest" fallacy, wherein we assume some huge name will travel to Tennessee in June just to perform one song with a scheduled act/Superjam. -the "Secret Set" fallacy, wherein we assume some act bigger than Cage The Elephant will perform a secret set.
part of the job of the community here is to keep each other in check when our imaginations start running wild. bonnaroo is already super fun, there is no need to rile ourselves up with unreasonable expectations.
Noisia -100 gecs - Marc Rebillet - Andy Frasco & The U.N. Jack Harlow - Lucii - LSDream
Tool - J Cole
My Morning Jacket (late night) - Flume - Primus - Run The Jewels
King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - Big Boi - Angel Olsen -Sylvan Esso
Tchami & Malaa - Kane Brown - Phoebe Bridgers -Mija - Moon Taxi
Tierra Whack - Yola - Tom Misch - Jpegmafia - KOKOKO! - Still Woozy Empress Of - Bonnie x Clyde - Huxley Anne
Lizzo - Bassnectar
Kid Cudi - Oysterhead (late night) - Glass Animals - Of Monsters & Men
Brittany Howard - Superjam! lead by Sylvan Esso -Kaytranada - Whitney Gary Clark Jr - Rainbow Kitten Surprise - Perfume Genius - Cashmere Cat Jehnny Beth - JID - Big Wild - Princess Nokia - Pigeons Playing Ping Pong Dreamer Boy - The Marcus King Band - MEUTE - Subtronics
Tame Impala - Vampire Weekend
Loretta Lynn - Nelly - REZZ - Jason Isbell & The 400 Unit
Bikini Kill -Megan Thee Stallion - Stereolab - Banks - Michael Kiwanuka Turkuaz (with Jerry Harrison & Adrian Belew) - G Jones - Hayley Williams
Pinegrove - The Midnight - YBN Cordae - Orville Peck - Meduza - Doja Cat Black Pumas - Femi Kuti & The Positive Force - Brasstracks
Episode 4: King Incel and The Delicious Meatball Sub 1/5/20 Pages spanned: 220-250 (dear god) Is this worth recapping: well yes, but actually no Insider: NO Infinitypass: NO Entertainment Value: 8 Info Value: 0
Path of discussion: top ten Bonnaroo shows > Coachella drops best lineup ever > Hopeful wishing for some decent crossover > going to Coachella is hard > DMS posts the "Bonnaroo lineup" with dblood's face covering it > people start squinting at this pixelated mess trying to figure out names > honestly this part is just really sad to look back at > like honestly some of you put in so much time and effort > DMS shrinks dblood's head revealing more of the poster > DMS reveals the entire poster > festival owl says it's fake > Everyone starts to realize they've been tricked and quite possibly bamboozled by the meatball sub > Launchpad calls us Incelroo on Reddit > DMS posts a coded message that this was Tranter's poster all along > hip hop is a vibe > a lot of people here seem to hate Smashing Pumpkins > Roo Bus says Tame Impala is on Saturday and Tool is getting an "extra long" show on Sunday (doubt it) > Bands that can play "extra long" > now would be a nice time for some real scoops
to be clear i was 100% fooled by the Great 2020 Scoop Swindle by Delicious Meatball Sub & King T . but i did have some thoughts along the way that i ignored because of my scoops addiction.
when meatball first revealed that he had seen the lineup the tone of his post was very... not meatball. it was just a little too positive, a little too friendly, a little too open. not that meatball is negative and mean, but his posts typically are more measured and rational. it just didn't sound like his voice. i chalked it up to him having a few drinks and the excitement of having seen an old friend coupled with a genuine interest in the lineup. also he said his source helped him start his record label? weird and i kept wanting to make a joke about that but just let it ride because i was excited.
then when the fake lineup was revealed i'd just gotten home from work. i looked it over and was pumped, so pumped i decided to go exercise before going out. i texted the lineup to one friend, did not read the thread further, then i got on the aerodyne and got a tight but intense thirty minutes of cardio in, listening to a mixture of jason isbell and meshuggah, getting those endorphins flowing, all hype for the lineup.
after exercise, and this is no bullshit, i was looking at the lineup (still hadn't hopped back in the headliner thread to read everyone saying the lineup was fake) and it struck me that we hadn't seen a fake lineup from King T this year. i thought maybe he's just busy, then i actually got a touch concerned, hope everything is OK in King T's life, maybe i should shoot him a PM. then as i was running the shower i opened up the thread and the terrible truth was revealed. my friend i texted the lineup too had texted back all excited, saying he might return to bonnaroo for his first time since 2007. i had to shamefully reveal i'd been fooled.
but i had fun and had a good workout so the deception had positive consequences for me.