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Post by lazybutterfly on Jul 21, 2012 20:35:19 GMT -5
So about a year ago I set up my best girl friend from home and a guy that became like a brother to me at college. I just knew that they would be absolutely perfect for one another. Sure enough, a year later, coming up on their anniversary, they're madly in love.
And I guess to put it simply, as to why this is in this thread, I've basically lost two of my best friends. I hardly see the one from home, while we're on break from school, and never even hear from the other. More sad than grrr, but still. Hurt 'n angry over here.
So about a year ago I set up my best girl friend from home and a guy that became like a brother to me at college. I just knew that they would be absolutely perfect for one another. Sure enough, a year later, coming up on their anniversary, they're madly in love.
And I guess to put it simply, as to why this is in this thread, I've basically lost two of my best friends. I hardly see the one from home, while we're on break from school, and never even hear from the other. More sad than grrr, but still. Hurt 'n angry over here.
This sort of happened to me as well. I had two friends at school from different groups of friends who I thought would hit it off so I pretty much threw a party so I could introduce them , and they've been dating basically since then (about 4 years), with a few bumps in the road (it was college so I guess that's to be expected). They pulled the disappearing act for a few months after we graduated and then did it for real when they moved halfway across the country. I still talk to them often, but it's obviously not the same. Sorry to hear about your situation, I know how much it sucks feeling disconnected from people you trust and care about.
This happened to me as well in college. But with different results. At my twenty-first B-day party I set up my best guy friend with my best girl friend. So essentially my two best friends at school were dating. Everything started off well, but things began to go bad. I said to both of them, "this is between you, do not drag me into this, and DO NOT make me choose between you." But of course that wasn't the case at all. Every time there was a dramatic indicent or a fight they would both call me up and give me a completely different take on the incident. One of my best friends was lying to me, manipulating me, to make themselves seem better than the other. They eventually broke up, but I couldn't hang out with either of them without serious drama being brought up. Well eventually, I found out who was the one I could trust. The girl called me up one day crying her eyes out that she was pregnant and that my guy friend was furious and breaking things. I was pissed and hysterical. I called him up to go off on him, only to here him say, "Uh no, that never happened. And I don't think she's really pregnant." I took that as a huge shock. Why would one of my best friends lie to me about such a serious thing? Well it turns out he was correct. Her plan was to get a check for an abortion and take the money and run. We found out through her roommates that she had done this before with another guy before they were dating. Also that she was a pathological liar. The whole thing was an awful ordeal, but it exposed one of my best friends as a lying, manipulative phoney, which in the long run was probably a good thing.
This happened to me as well in college. But with different results. At my twenty-first B-day party I set up my best guy friend with my best girl friend. So essentially my two best friends at school were dating. Everything started off well, but things began to go bad. I said to both of them, "this is between you, do not drag me into this, and DO NOT make me choose between you." But of course that wasn't the case at all. Every time there was a dramatic indicent or a fight they would both call me up and give me a completely different take on the incident. One of my best friends was lying to me, manipulating me, to make themselves seem better than the other. They eventually broke up, but I couldn't hang out with either of them without serious drama being brought up. Well eventually, I found out who was the one I could trust. The girl called me up one day crying her eyes out that she was pregnant and that my guy friend was furious and breaking things. I was pissed and hysterical. I called him up to go off on him, only to here him say, "Uh no, that never happened. And I don't think she's really pregnant." I took that as a huge shock. Why would one of my best friends lie to me about such a serious thing? Well it turns out he was correct. Her plan was to get a check for an abortion and take the money and run. We found out through her roommates that she had done this before with another guy before they were dating. Also that she was a pathological liar. The whole thing was an awful ordeal, but it exposed one of my best friends as a lying, manipulative phoney, which in the long run was probably a good thing.
Yeah, I had a friend deal with a fake pregnancy. What's weird is for about 6 months the girl he was dating was great. Would go out with us, became a legitimate part of our group of friends (not just a g/f we let hang out with us like some other girls forced on us), and she was a lot of fun. Then it was like a switch was flipped and she went nuts trying to keep our friend from seeing us, wearing a hood and following us when we went bar hopping without him, and then the lie about being pregnant. I wish I knew what caused her to do that, but it was literally out of nowhere.
To quote the beautifully written coffee shop scene in Old School: "Love, it's a muthaf*cka, eh?"
So about a year ago I set up my best girl friend from home and a guy that became like a brother to me at college. I just knew that they would be absolutely perfect for one another. Sure enough, a year later, coming up on their anniversary, they're madly in love.
And I guess to put it simply, as to why this is in this thread, I've basically lost two of my best friends. I hardly see the one from home, while we're on break from school, and never even hear from the other. More sad than grrr, but still. Hurt 'n angry over here.
If you just keep on being yourself, you'll surely continue making several new "best" friends. They'll be slightly diferent from your last best friends, but great just the same. It's a long track, not to be run as a sprint.
Meanwhile, you did a beautiful thing -- bringing them together.
Nuthin' to bum about. Be happy 'bout your role. Your karma's gonna tighten you up.
So about a year ago I set up my best girl friend from home and a guy that became like a brother to me at college. I just knew that they would be absolutely perfect for one another. Sure enough, a year later, coming up on their anniversary, they're madly in love.
And I guess to put it simply, as to why this is in this thread, I've basically lost two of my best friends. I hardly see the one from home, while we're on break from school, and never even hear from the other. More sad than grrr, but still. Hurt 'n angry over here.
If you just keep on being yourself, you'll surely continue making several new "best" friends. They'll be slightly diferent from your last best friends, but great just the same. It's a long track, not to be run as a sprint.
Meanwhile, you did a beautiful thing -- bringing them together.
Nuthin' to bum about. Be happy 'bout your role. Your karma's gonna tighten you up.
Making a lot of new "best" friends is tough as hell - and I want to say booooo for lazybutterfly. because boooo [from experience, I think someone should break up their relationship time with friendships.. all relationship is toxic]
This is really personal, but I don't know where else to talk about. I can't post on fb cause not all my siblings know yet, and I have no real close friends around here anymore.
I found out tonight that my mother is in the hospital with a non functioning pancreas, due to very heavy drinking. As far as I knew, and the rest of my siblings, both my parents had been completely sober when it came to drinking since the 80's. The last year or two she started secretly drinking again, according to my father. I'm one of four, all girls, only one of my other sisters knows the real reason she's in the hospital, because my mom is ashamed. I only know because I'm that sisters confidant. My mother had said that she was in the hospital for breathing problems and a stomach issue, but my sister didn't believe her. She confronted my dad and he came clean to her. My sister is now taking control of the situation and becoming her medical proxy because my father, bless his heart, is not the most responsible person, and is well intentioned but has his own issues that don't make him the best person to make hardcore medical decisions for my mother. I know so very little about what's going on, and I can't even go see my mom cause she isn't allowing visitors. Her doctor said that if she drinks again, she'll die, basically. I don't even know what to think or feel right now. I'll know more tomorrow, but this came out of nowhere today.
We're all a mess of paradoxes. Believing in things we know can't be true. We walk around carrying feelings too complicated and contradictory to express. But when it all becomes too big, and words aren't enough to help get it all out, there's always music.
This is really personal, but I don't know where else to talk about. I can't post on fb cause not all my siblings know yet, and I have no real close friends around here anymore.
I found out tonight that my mother is in the hospital with a non functioning pancreas, due to very heavy drinking. As far as I knew, and the rest of my siblings, both my parents had been completely sober when it came to drinking since the 80's. The last year or two she started secretly drinking again, according to my father. I'm one of four, all girls, only one of my other sisters knows the real reason she's in the hospital, because my mom is ashamed. I only know because I'm that sisters confidant. My mother had said that she was in the hospital for breathing problems and a stomach issue, but my sister didn't believe her. She confronted my dad and he came clean to her. My sister is now taking control of the situation and becoming her medical proxy because my father, bless his heart, is not the most responsible person, and is well intentioned but has his own issues that don't make him the best person to make hardcore medical decisions for my mother. I know so very little about what's going on, and I can't even go see my mom cause she isn't allowing visitors. Her doctor said that if she drinks again, she'll die, basically. I don't even know what to think or feel right now. I'll know more tomorrow, but this came out of nowhere today.
Wow KM, that's really tough. Addition is a bitch and it's hard to be the child of an addicted parent <hugs>
This is my GRRRRRRRRRR of the day, and its all about me.
Thursday marks six months since the day I first met my now gf. And all morning, plus much of last night, I just been thinking how horrible of a boyfriend I am. And how lucky I am she still sticks around. She's seriously in love with me, and I drag her through hell.
So among my sins: - paying more attention to the internet, esp my smartphone, than her... all the time - getting pissed off and swearing at her, several times - having to confess I still have some feelings for Bonnie - a two day long argument over me being broke and wanting to go to MikeD's party - wanting to spend part of Thursday at Quack Club, which just keeps making her think I care more about friends than her.
And that is just July.
I'm disgusted with myself. Even my mother thinks she'll dump me soon, and she likes my gf more than me. I love her, and I care about her. But wow, I'm just a massive failure at this relationship thing. I want to get her something nice on Thursday, and even there I'm drawing a blank.
All of our drives are down at work. And I have a two-hour "writing" course this afternoon. I can't even get my work done this morning so I will be way behind. GRRRRR
This is my GRRRRRRRRRR of the day, and its all about me.
Thursday marks six months since the day I first met my now gf. And all morning, plus much of last night, I just been thinking how horrible of a boyfriend I am. And how lucky I am she still sticks around. She's seriously in love with me, and I drag her through hell.
So among my sins: - paying more attention to the internet, esp my smartphone, than her... all the time - getting pissed off and swearing at her, several times - having to confess I still have some feelings for Bonnie - a two day long argument over me being broke and wanting to go to MikeD's party - wanting to spend part of Thursday at Quack Club, which just keeps making her think I care more about friends than her.
And that is just July.
I'm disgusted with myself. Even my mother thinks she'll dump me soon, and she likes my gf more than me. I love her, and I care about her. But wow, I'm just a massive failure at this relationship thing. I want to get her something nice on Thursday, and even there I'm drawing a blank.
I need a hug
<hugs> now quit telling us about your sins, call her tell her where you have messed up and what you plan to do to fix it.
I called her last night, told her how much I suck.
I'm taking her out on Thursday for late lunch. Do some things she wants to do afterwards. She wants a card with a note. And other surprises. I will surprise her, just thinking of what exactly.
I called her last night, told her how much I suck.
I'm taking her out on Thursday for late lunch. Do some things she wants to do afterwards. She wants a card with a note. And other surprises. I will surprise her, just thinking of what exactly.
Pro tip: the card is most important. Don't write "I'm sorry, baby" and buy her chocolate and a couple roses. She wants to see that you're going to put thought into it, but most of all that you can be man enough to be honest with her.
Seriously, a good card will crack her cold demeanor (if it's genuine), but if you try to cheese your way out of the doghouse you're going to end up with your *ss nailed to it.
I called her last night, told her how much I suck.
I'm taking her out on Thursday for late lunch. Do some things she wants to do afterwards. She wants a card with a note. And other surprises. I will surprise her, just thinking of what exactly.
That's a great start. What I meant by fixing it is fixing the problems. Tell her you won't be on your phone when you two are together, and do it. Leave it in your car or at home if you have to. If you are going to quackclub for X amount of days give her the rest of Thursday for you two to spend some time together. Flowers and cards are great but they don't fix anything.
Welcome back Bonz, but I do not find it strange that your presence being requested in the Orgy thread and then you showing up, like it was the quacking Bonzai Bat Signal.
Yessssssssss!!!! That one too. There were probably a solid five that rotated through my daydreams. But my "boyfriends" never lasted more than a week or two.
Welcome back Bonz, but I do not find it strange that your presence being requested in the Orgy thread and then you showing up, like it was the quacking Bonzai Bat Signal.
I always imagined being serenaded by this when I was in high school:
No lie; this was mine & my husband’s song back in 1994 when we started dating. We slow danced to it at a Clemson freshman social & I kept it on repeat for quite awhile. I believe I have it on my ipod now! LMAO