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My coworker and only real friend in my workplace just accepted a job offer. I'm excited for her, but also supersad to see her go, as she's the latest in a string of close friends to recently leave my life (more or less) because they're growing up and leading lives of their own. On the plus side, it's encouraged me to do the same, and I've started applying to a psych research assistant position at UPenn. If I like it, I might pursue a PhD...growing up is scary.
On a completely unrelated note, this weekend I was hanging out at a party with a girl I used to have a major crush on (I almost broke up with my then-bf to pursue her), and it turns out she felt the same about me. That's mostly pretty awesome, except at one point in the night she drunkenly said something pretty fucking racist, and even though she doesn't seem like that sort of person at all and alcohol was involved, I don't think that's something I can excuse. A momentary lapse of judgment is forgivable, but if that lapse in judgment was a glimpse of her underlying thoughts and feelings, then that's an absolute dealbreaker for me. Thoughts?
5.5/four tet, daphni b2b floating points, avalon emerson 5.12/neil young 5.19/mannequin pussy 5.21/serpentwithfeet 5.25/hozier 6.12-16/bonnaroo 6.28/goose 6.29/goose 9.17/the national + the war on drugs 9.23/sigur ros 9.27-29/making time 10.17/air
My coworker and only real friend in my workplace just accepted a job offer. I'm excited for her, but also supersad to see her go, as she's the latest in a string of close friends to recently leave my life (more or less) because they're growing up and leading lives of their own. On the plus side, it's encouraged me to do the same, and I've started applying to a psych research assistant position at UPenn. If I like it, I might pursue a PhD...growing up is scary.
On a completely unrelated note, this weekend I was hanging out at a party with a girl I used to have a major crush on (I almost broke up with my then-bf to pursue her), and it turns out she felt the same about me. That's mostly pretty awesome, except at one point in the night she drunkenly said something pretty fucking racist, and even though she doesn't seem like that sort of person at all and alcohol was involved, I don't think that's something I can excuse. A momentary lapse of judgment is forgivable, but if that lapse in judgment was a glimpse of her underlying thoughts and feelings, then that's an absolute dealbreaker for me. Thoughts?
A great DBT's song lyric "Know the bottle ain't to blame and I ain't trying to 'Cause it don't make you do a thing, it just lets you"
On a completely unrelated note, this weekend I was hanging out at a party with a girl I used to have a major crush on (I almost broke up with my then-bf to pursue her), and it turns out she felt the same about me. That's mostly pretty awesome, except at one point in the night she drunkenly said something pretty fucking racist, and even though she doesn't seem like that sort of person at all and alcohol was involved, I don't think that's something I can excuse. A momentary lapse of judgment is forgivable, but if that lapse in judgment was a glimpse of her underlying thoughts and feelings, then that's an absolute dealbreaker for me. Thoughts?
I think you'd know which it was a lot better than the rest of us, especially since we don't know what was said.
Maybe hang out with her a bit more and feel it out? Did you know her fairly well when you crushed on her before?
My coworker and only real friend in my workplace just accepted a job offer. I'm excited for her, but also supersad to see her go, as she's the latest in a string of close friends to recently leave my life (more or less) because they're growing up and leading lives of their own.
I know just how you feel. The majority of my close friends have either moved away or are starting families. I'm 27 years old but haven't actively pursued my future (jobs or relationship-wise) for a few years now and it all just hit me that I've wasted the past few years of my life in a few ways. Just haven't gone out and done a lot of the things I hoped to....I'd like to change that as well.
My coworker and only real friend in my workplace just accepted a job offer. I'm excited for her, but also supersad to see her go, as she's the latest in a string of close friends to recently leave my life (more or less) because they're growing up and leading lives of their own. On the plus side, it's encouraged me to do the same, and I've started applying to a psych research assistant position at UPenn. If I like it, I might pursue a PhD...growing up is scary.
On a completely unrelated note, this weekend I was hanging out at a party with a girl I used to have a major crush on (I almost broke up with my then-bf to pursue her), and it turns out she felt the same about me. That's mostly pretty awesome, except at one point in the night she drunkenly said something pretty fucking racist, and even though she doesn't seem like that sort of person at all and alcohol was involved, I don't think that's something I can excuse. A momentary lapse of judgment is forgivable, but if that lapse in judgment was a glimpse of her underlying thoughts and feelings, then that's an absolute dealbreaker for me. Thoughts?
Get closer to her man. Don't jump to conclusions. Maybe it was just a bad joke taken the wrong way (if you've been reading I have a ton of experience with that). If you get closer and you don't like what you see, just cut and run. You don't even have to make a big deal out of it, that's whats great about dating.
Sorry to hear about your coworker leaving. I know how that goes. It feels like almost all my friends are either engaged, married, about to have a kid, or is just super into their career. I'm learning more and more that you need to just become comfortable with yourself. Take the opportunity to go out and try new things and meet new people. It's cool that you are trying to grow and better yourself. I hope it all works out for you.
My coworker and only real friend in my workplace just accepted a job offer. I'm excited for her, but also supersad to see her go, as she's the latest in a string of close friends to recently leave my life (more or less) because they're growing up and leading lives of their own. On the plus side, it's encouraged me to do the same, and I've started applying to a psych research assistant position at UPenn. If I like it, I might pursue a PhD...growing up is scary.
On a completely unrelated note, this weekend I was hanging out at a party with a girl I used to have a major crush on (I almost broke up with my then-bf to pursue her), and it turns out she felt the same about me. That's mostly pretty awesome, except at one point in the night she drunkenly said something pretty fucking racist, and even though she doesn't seem like that sort of person at all and alcohol was involved, I don't think that's something I can excuse. A momentary lapse of judgment is forgivable, but if that lapse in judgment was a glimpse of her underlying thoughts and feelings, then that's an absolute dealbreaker for me. Thoughts?
Taking the research assistant position is such a good idea before starting the PhD. Getting a PhD can be an incredibly grinding, soul sucking experience. And that's even if you like what you are doing. Research, particularly in the academic setting, can sometimes move at a glacial pace, without a lot of short-term reward/gratification and lots of frustrations (bureaucratic, systemic, or just stuff that doesn't work). But you learn a lot and get to be independent, so it is does have upsides. Good luck!
“For what is in a man’s heart when he is sober is on his tongue when he is drunk, as those who are given to proverbs say.” Plutarch
though I don't necessarily thing its a hard and fast rule, I think it can generally hold true.
If you like her otherwise, tell her that what she said bothered you. Her reaction to that will probably tell you all you need to know.
My coworker and only real friend in my workplace just accepted a job offer. I'm excited for her, but also supersad to see her go, as she's the latest in a string of close friends to recently leave my life (more or less) because they're growing up and leading lives of their own. On the plus side, it's encouraged me to do the same, and I've started applying to a psych research assistant position at UPenn. If I like it, I might pursue a PhD...growing up is scary.
On a completely unrelated note, this weekend I was hanging out at a party with a girl I used to have a major crush on (I almost broke up with my then-bf to pursue her), and it turns out she felt the same about me. That's mostly pretty awesome, except at one point in the night she drunkenly said something pretty fucking racist, and even though she doesn't seem like that sort of person at all and alcohol was involved, I don't think that's something I can excuse. A momentary lapse of judgment is forgivable, but if that lapse in judgment was a glimpse of her underlying thoughts and feelings, then that's an absolute dealbreaker for me. Thoughts?
1) Get a PhD from UPenn if that's realistic.
2) Take her out in South Philly. Should be telling.
On a completely unrelated note, this weekend I was hanging out at a party with a girl I used to have a major crush on (I almost broke up with my then-bf to pursue her), and it turns out she felt the same about me. That's mostly pretty awesome, except at one point in the night she drunkenly said something pretty fucking racist, and even though she doesn't seem like that sort of person at all and alcohol was involved, I don't think that's something I can excuse. A momentary lapse of judgment is forgivable, but if that lapse in judgment was a glimpse of her underlying thoughts and feelings, then that's an absolute dealbreaker for me. Thoughts?
I think everyone else has given you good advice so I would just like to point out that Ross on Friends had the exact same problem you are experiencing.
"When we were on our date she said something that, if she was kidding, was very funny. But if she wasn't kidding then she's definitely not fun; she's stupid and kind of racist."
I consider it an honor to add you to the list of women I've disappointed. In fact, "Women I've Disappointed" is the working title for my yet-to-be-written memoir.
Thank you everyone for the advice. The sentiment she expressed was basically the same as Chris Rock's "two types of black people" routine, though it was said very casually as a statement of fact (slurs and all); it wasn't in a joking matter. Statements like that provoke mixed responses in me, because while I detest and insta-judge people for it, I also understand that white people often naively lack the global perspective to see the roots and effects of their words and actions. I go back and forth between "fuck you" and "here, let me explain this to you" in these types of situations, though I tend towards the latter when I'm feeling more compassionate than argumentative. I'm going to continue to feel things out and just see how things go. I know her well enough to bring it up outright; I'll probably do that just because I call people out on their shit when I'm dating them, and if we're gonna date, she'll need to be okay with that.
I think a research position would be really good for me because it's pretty much tailored to my strengths and interests: I'm a huge psych nerd, I prefer to work independently, and absorbing and synthesizing information is one of my biggest strengths. Plus if I want my future book to make it into Oprah's Book Club, it'll help to have a few extra letters after my name. I'd actually really like UPenn's program, but I couldn't afford it. Working there would let me take 6 free credits a semester, but idk if I could take doctorate-level classes as a non-matriculated student. I'll probably just take undergrad classes and whatever's interesting to me at the time.
5.5/four tet, daphni b2b floating points, avalon emerson 5.12/neil young 5.19/mannequin pussy 5.21/serpentwithfeet 5.25/hozier 6.12-16/bonnaroo 6.28/goose 6.29/goose 9.17/the national + the war on drugs 9.23/sigur ros 9.27-29/making time 10.17/air
Thank you everyone for the advice. The sentiment she expressed was basically the same as Chris Rock's "two types of black people" routine, though it was said very casually as a statement of fact (slurs and all); it wasn't in a joking matter. Statements like that provoke mixed responses in me, because while I detest and insta-judge people for it, I also understand that white people often naively lack the global perspective to see the roots and effects of their words and actions. I go back and forth between "fuck you" and "here, let me explain this to you" in these types of situations, though I tend towards the latter when I'm feeling more compassionate than argumentative. I'm going to continue to feel things out and just see how things go. I know her well enough to bring it up outright; I'll probably do that just because I call people out on their shit when I'm dating them, and if we're gonna date, she'll need to be okay with that.
I think a research position would be really good for me because it's pretty much tailored to my strengths and interests: I'm a huge psych nerd, I prefer to work independently, and absorbing and synthesizing information is one of my biggest strengths. Plus if I want my future book to make it into Oprah's Book Club, it'll help to have a few extra letters after my name. I'd actually really like UPenn's program, but I couldn't afford it. Working there would let me take 6 free credits a semester, but idk if I could take doctorate-level classes as a non-matriculated student. I'll probably just take undergrad classes and whatever's interesting to me at the time.
if you are pursuing a PhD though, you shouldn't have to pay for it. they should pay you (albeit somewhat poorly, if its in the psych dept.)
Thank you everyone for the advice. The sentiment she expressed was basically the same as Chris Rock's "two types of black people" routine, though it was said very casually as a statement of fact (slurs and all); it wasn't in a joking matter. Statements like that provoke mixed responses in me, because while I detest and insta-judge people for it, I also understand that white people often naively lack the global perspective to see the roots and effects of their words and actions. I go back and forth between "fuck you" and "here, let me explain this to you" in these types of situations, though I tend towards the latter when I'm feeling more compassionate than argumentative. I'm going to continue to feel things out and just see how things go. I know her well enough to bring it up outright; I'll probably do that just because I call people out on their shit when I'm dating them, and if we're gonna date, she'll need to be okay with that.
I think a research position would be really good for me because it's pretty much tailored to my strengths and interests: I'm a huge psych nerd, I prefer to work independently, and absorbing and synthesizing information is one of my biggest strengths. Plus if I want my future book to make it into Oprah's Book Club, it'll help to have a few extra letters after my name. I'd actually really like UPenn's program, but I couldn't afford it. Working there would let me take 6 free credits a semester, but idk if I could take doctorate-level classes as a non-matriculated student. I'll probably just take undergrad classes and whatever's interesting to me at the time.
if you are pursuing a PhD though, you shouldn't have to pay for it. they should pay you (albeit somewhat poorly, if its in the psych dept.)
I stand corrected. Originally the page I was looking at for their program made no mention of funding, but after some more snooping I found that they do indeed fund their PhD students. Good news!
Last Edit: Jul 21, 2014 16:26:05 GMT -5 by Jaz - Back to Top
5.5/four tet, daphni b2b floating points, avalon emerson 5.12/neil young 5.19/mannequin pussy 5.21/serpentwithfeet 5.25/hozier 6.12-16/bonnaroo 6.28/goose 6.29/goose 9.17/the national + the war on drugs 9.23/sigur ros 9.27-29/making time 10.17/air
I go back and forth between "fuck you" and "here, let me explain this to you" in these types of situations, though I tend towards the latter when I'm feeling more compassionate than argumentative.
A Glastonbury man who was stopped very early Friday morning because his headlights were off admitted to police that he had been drinking while driving from Cincinnati, Ohio, to his home in Glastonbury, police said.
The entire trip is more than 750 miles, according to Mapquest.
Police stopped Sean Whitmore Hickey, 25, just before 2:30 a.m. on Friday after seeing a car with no headlights heading southbound on Main Street, police said. Hickey was charged with operating under the influence of alcohol/drugs, drinking while driving, failure to have headlamps illuminated and operating an unregistered vehicle. Bond was set at $2,500. He was released and is due in court in Manchester on August 4.
If you drink and drive for 750 miles, and get a DUI right at the very end - is that shit luck or stupidity or both?
Home. FINALLY. I've seen more shiz in the past 24 hours than I have in my lifetime. It was capped off by realizing someone had gotten mugged and an older gentleman offering me a handy on a deserted bus. That was just the tip of the iceberg though.
Welcome back Bonz, but I do not find it strange that your presence being requested in the Orgy thread and then you showing up, like it was the quacking Bonzai Bat Signal.
Home. FINALLY. I've seen more shiz in the past 24 hours than I have in my lifetime. It was capped off by realizing someone had gotten mugged and an older gentleman offering me a handy on a deserted bus. That was just the tip of the iceberg though.
So this isn't really the place to do this, but I'm doing it anyway. My best friends band is trying to play a local festival here and just needs to win this voting to play. So I thought I'd ask you all for some help. They are a super fun group. A surf/spy rock instrumental trio.