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not an excuse to be mean to people who went out of their way to help.
ITS THE INTERNET, HAVE YOU READ THE COMMENTS ON YOUTUBE EVER!!!!????
if your feelings are soo easily hurt mabey you keep private matters to yourself.
im not attacking you, its just the reality of the world we live in. and i dont think ANYONE was being "mean" to you.
im done with this though, i hope you have a talk with him and this all gets worked out.
Well, honey, this isn't YOUTUBE. I was under the impression that these boards were different. Guess not.
Yes, anyone's feelings would be hurt if they came on here asking for some advice on whether or not it was valid for them to be mad for having to go through that. I didn't come on here asking whether or not it was my fault.
It was you that questioned whether or not I cared for him. You said "and mabey its not your responsibilty to police his intake, but if you cared about someone you should, i know i would."
How am I not supposed to be hurt by comments like that? How dare you insenuate that I don't care because I didn't police his behavior???
"sometimes people forget bill cosby grew up in the ghettos of philadelphia. from time to time hes gunna say some real sh*t"
p.s what i or anyone else thinks DOESNT MATTER. this board DOESNT MATTER. you know who you are and you know your a good person. thats all that matters.
"sometimes people forget bill cosby grew up in the ghettos of philadelphia. from time to time hes gunna say some real sh*t"
p.s what i or anyone else thinks DOESNT MATTER. this board DOESNT MATTER. you know who you are and you know your a good person. thats all that matters.
To me, it does matter when someone is asking for help. If I were talking about how I think Elmo should have been purple instead of red and we disagreed, then it doesn't matter.
but he did need help. this happened before so you should have seen this comming. you don't need to say "what" and "how much". but you could have sugested to take it easy. "hey bf, remember the last time you took that pill and all those drinks?" yes he's a big boy and you don't need to hold his hand. but sometimes people need help. trust me on this. i've had my own issues that i needed a helping hand on. i thought i knew my limits too.
Look, he had a bad reaction once before. Two weekends ago he took the pill and the alcohol on an empty stomach and thought that was why he had the reaction he did. He took one Saturday night on a full stomach, had a little booze and was fine. Sunday night he took the pill on a full stomach, but drank way too much.
It IS his fault, people.
so, why are you making excuses for him? i've been there, and made excuses for the person i was with, my kids dad, we were together for nearly four years before i stopped making excuses for him. just make sure you stick to your guns, if you tell him that you're not going to take care of him the next time it happens, then don't. enabling won't help him realize that he's doing something that hurts you. if it was me tho, i'd be gone. i learned the hard way once, and once was all it took. strictly, IMO, smite me if you wish!
"White collar conservative flashin down the street, pointing that plastic finger at me, they all assume my kind will drop and die, but I'm gonna wave my freak flag high." Jimi Hendrix
not trying to jump into the middle of this or re-start any nuts, but this statement troubles me:
baj said:
My initial question for this post was to see if I was valid in being miffed he made us miss the show.
have some confidence in yourself and your emotions. you must feel the way you feel for a reason, and you owe it to yourself to take the time to determine -why- you feel the way you do. you'll never be able to get sufficient validation of your emotions no matter how much of a situation you try to convey to your friends/associates/coworkers/message-board dwellers.
the answer lies within yourself, we cannot tell you if its right or wrong to feel the way you do.
Maybe I'll throw myself to the dogs, but my back's not to the wall Maybe I'll lay some bricks for the man, but the days just aren't that long So if I settle back and chill will I see far enough to feel the angel's dream? I thought it was the Story of the World!
although there is no excuse for that behavior, xanax, if you dont take it all the time can really f u c k your night up, especially if you drinking heavily, and definatly make you black out and not remember a thing. A couple weeks ago, my boyfriend and i took a xanax and drinking a lot of vodka and we were at a party at my friends house. We were drinkin dancin, havin a great time, and the next thing i remember was waking up at home in my bed at 6am.
I dont understand the violence. Maybe its just him when he gets like that. And if you have never expierenced that side of him before, maybe it was just a one time thing. I dont know. I just hope he feels bad for how he treated you. We always dont know how what we take will affect us, but if it affects us negetivly, hopefully we can be apologetic about it.
I came to these boards with this problem because I have no one else to talk to about this. I moved to this town almost 2 years ago to be closer to him so we could take our relationship to the next level. I don't regret that move, but I did have to sacrifice friendships back home. Those friends and I have lost touch over the period of the 2 years, and the only people I know here are my co-workers. I don't really want to hang out with any of them, and so the only relationships I have with them are strictly on a day-to-day work basis. I have no one to vent to, and I used these boards to clear my mind. I can't call my family and tell them what happened. It's none of their business, anyway. I know my feelings, and I know I'm justified in having those feelings, but I just needed to vent and get someone to talk to me about it.
I talked to him last night, and he said he didn't apologize because he didn't know how to apologize for something like that...he was so embarrassed and ashamed for what happened and disgusted with himself that he had to work out everything in his head to make light of what happened.
He's not an addict. We've only used these things 3 times, people. Don't assume that every person that uses something recreationally is an addict. I never made one excuse for him, either. He knows that he cannot treat me like this.
I'm personally disappointed in most of the replies on this topic. A lot of people were supportive and I appreciate that, but some people were down right rude/wrong by assuming I'm making excuses for him, that he's an addict, or even to go as far to accuse me that it's partially my fault that the entire incident happened because I didn't say no. I'm let down by those comments. He is an adult and he chose to take it knowing full well what could happen. It happened, and he learned from his mistakes. He knows I don't take nuts from anybody, and he knows what will happen if he choses to do this again.
That's all I have to say about this.
Last Edit: Apr 25, 2007 7:54:43 GMT -5 by baj - Back to Top
I don't know, I read and re-read your post. You both took benzos. Benzos are bad enough by themselves if you're not prescribed them. Mix them with booze and your asking for trouble. Drugs hit people differently, but blackouts are expected when you mix them. You obviously handled them differently than he did, but it could've just as easily been him taking care of you while you were out of your mind, I don't care how well you know your "limits". Lots of factors are involved when it comes to people's reactions to drugs.
I'm sorry, but nothing about your incident is suprising considering that benzos and booze are involved. But he didn't hit you, you didn't get in a car accident, no one is seriously injured, no one got arrested. He just acted like a HUGE not a very nice person. It could have been so much worse. I think the both of you are damn lucky.
I say hash it out with your man yourself and leave the internet community out of it. Smite me if you wish, but I know I wouldn't like it if my girlfriend aired out something this personal on the internet.
Oh, and both of you should leave the benzos alone. Baked is the way to be, not fried.
I'm sorry, but nothing about your incident is suprising considering that benzos and booze are involved. But he didn't hit you, you didn't get in a car accident, no one is seriously injured, no one got arrested. He just acted like a HUGE not a very nice person. It could have been so much worse. I think the both of you are damn lucky.
I say hash it out with your man yourself and leave the internet community out of it. Smite me if you wish, but I know I wouldn't like it if my girlfriend aired out something this personal on the internet.
Yes, he did do something bad. He called me a shitty girlfriend and made fun of me when I was crying and helping him. To me, those are bad things.
My problem here was that he knew he had the potential to have a bad reaction, because he had before, yet he still took them. That is the problem here, people.
Yes, we both took the pills and booze, BUT HE HAD A REACTION LIKE THIS BEFORE AND HE STILL TOOK THEM KNOWING THIS. What is so hard to understand????????
Last time I checked, the internet isn't a personal place and none of you know who I am. I chose to vent here because IT IS ANONYMOUS.
I am tired of being blamed here. This was not my fault, and yes, if I had the reaction he did, I would expect him to be mad at me but I would apologize to him. Also, if I had a bad reaction before, I wouldn't do it again!
I know the potential was there for either one of us to react that way, but HE HAD A BAD REACTION ONCE BEFORE. That is the last f*cking time I'll say it.
