Is Ham a Snack?

[Druid]

We had a lady try to shoplift a whole 20 ham (on topic) between her thighs.

[Deleted]

May 12, 2022 16:28:50 GMT -5 Druid said:

We had a lady try to shoplift a whole 20 pound ham (on topic) between her thighs.

Well THAT'S a euphemism garageland   

[LoveLuckLaughter]

Smoked and deli meats are no joke.

[Druid]

May 12, 2022 16:31:21 GMT -5 LoveLuckLaughter said:

Smoked and deli meats are no joke.

I hear they make a nice snack too.

[blurfan]

Cant vote but definitely a snack

[Crab Mech]

Mods? More like Mids.

[Crab Mech]

May 12, 2022 16:46:03 GMT -5 Crab Mech said:

Mods? More like Mids.

People aren't liking this incredible post because they know they will be banned. Very sad.

[Vieux]

You are so ridiculous.

[KPO]

American ham = snack
Spanish ham = 4 course meal
Looks like you can’t bring it in

[Crab Mech]

It's a snack. This is settled science.

[Druid]

May 12, 2022 16:59:52 GMT -5 Crab Mech said:

May 12, 2022 16:46:03 GMT -5 Crab Mech said:

Mods? More like Mids.

People aren't liking this incredible post because they know they will be banned. Very sad.

Sure, let’s go with that.

[Crab Mech]

Btw I definitely saw a ham roll on the table you leave food and water on when you go into the Auditori. Ham is a snack.

[Teddy Flair]

My wife got a gift card for a honey baked ham as her Christmas bonus and I'm pumped

[scenicworld]

My status is a result of this thread.

[hoffm83n]

Dec 19, 2022 19:47:53 GMT -5 scenicworld said:

My status is a result of this thread.

best be some cream cheese in there

[postjack]

May 12, 2022 16:28:50 GMT -5 Druid said:

We had a lady try to shoplift a whole 20 ham (on topic) between her thighs.

My sister's friend worked at Winn Dixie and a lady tried to do this. The ham fell out and the lady confidently asked "who threw this ham at me?"

[Vieux]

Dec 19, 2022 21:11:44 GMT -5 postjack said:

May 12, 2022 16:28:50 GMT -5 Druid said:

We had a lady try to shoplift a whole 20 ham (on topic) between her thighs.

My sister's friend worked at Winn Dixie and a lady tried to do this. The ham fell out and the lady confidently asked "who threw this ham at me?"

People love their ham.

[scenicworld]

Dec 19, 2022 20:05:18 GMT -5 hoffm83n said:

Dec 19, 2022 19:47:53 GMT -5 scenicworld said:

My status is a result of this thread.

best be some cream cheese in there

cream cheese is optional and encouraged!

[bonzai]

I'm surprised I didn't share this when the thread was first created, but I absolutely smuggled some turkey meat in my pants into Global Citizens Fest one time.

[Crab Mech]

I was watching Mad Men and Bobby (Don's son) was asking Don about his father.

"What did your daddy like to eat?"

Don takes a second to think.

"Ham."

[Teddy Flair]

Dec 19, 2022 19:33:13 GMT -5 Teddy Flair said:

My wife got a gift card for a honey baked ham as her Christmas bonus and I'm pumped

shit I need to go pick this up soon, she said I'm not allowed to bring it to bonnaroo

[Crab Mech]

Apr 12, 2023 16:44:31 GMT -5 Teddy Flair said:

Dec 19, 2022 19:33:13 GMT -5 Teddy Flair said:

My wife got a gift card for a honey baked ham as her Christmas bonus and I'm pumped

shit I need to go pick this up soon, she said I'm not allowed to bring it to bonnaroo

😢 why

[Teddy Flair]

Apr 12, 2023 16:45:55 GMT -5 Crab Mech said:

Apr 12, 2023 16:44:31 GMT -5 Teddy Flair said:

shit I need to go pick this up soon, she said I'm not allowed to bring it to bonnaroo

😢 why

something about cooler space?

[Crab Mech]

Apr 12, 2023 16:46:34 GMT -5 Teddy Flair said:

Apr 12, 2023 16:45:55 GMT -5 Crab Mech said:

😢 why

something about cooler space?

It's like the densest food.

[𝙡𝙞𝙡’ 𝙘𝙪𝙢 𝙗𝙤𝙮]

Apr 12, 2023 16:46:34 GMT -5 Teddy Flair said:

Apr 12, 2023 16:45:55 GMT -5 Crab Mech said:

😢 why

something about cooler space?

Imagine the surprise on her face when you guys get there and she goes to grab a water just to find a whole ham and a few shots of fireball

[𝙡𝙞𝙡’ 𝙘𝙪𝙢 𝙗𝙤𝙮]

I put that exact prompt into chatgpt

INT. KITCHEN - DAY

A man, TEDDY, is packing a cooler for Bonnaroo while his wife looks on.

WIFE: "Teddy, I'm serious. Don't bring a ham to Bonnaroo. It's going to be hot and gross, and we have no way to cook it."

TEDDY: "But I need my ham fix. It's my Bonnaroo tradition!"

WIFE: "Your tradition? We've never brought a ham to Bonnaroo before!"

TEDDY grins and tosses a whole ham into the cooler.

TEDDY: "Exactly. It's a new tradition!"

WIFE shakes her head and leaves the kitchen.

CUT TO:

EXT. BONNAROO CAMPGROUND - DAY

Teddy and his wife have set up their tent, and Teddy eagerly goes to grab a beer from the cooler.

WIFE: "Let me get that for you."

She opens the cooler and her eyes widen in horror as she sees the ham and a few shots of Fireball.

WIFE: "Teddy! I told you not to bring the ham!"

TEDDY: "Relax, it's just a little ham. We'll eat it cold."

WIFE: "Cold ham? Gross!"

TEDDY: "Don't knock it till you try it."

He hands her a slice of ham, and she reluctantly takes a bite.

WIFE: "Ugh, it's so salty!"

TEDDY: "I know, isn't it great?"

He takes a shot of Fireball and offers her one.

TEDDY: "Come on, loosen up! It's Bonnaroo!"

WIFE: "No thanks. I'll stick to beer."

TEDDY: "Suit yourself. More for me!"

He takes another shot and does a little dance.

WIFE: "You're ridiculous."

TEDDY: "I know. But at least we have ham!"

His wife rolls her eyes and takes a swig of her beer, realizing she's stuck with a cooler full of ham for the rest of the weekend.

[LoveLuckLaughter]

Apr 12, 2023 17:23:11 GMT -5 𝙡𝙞𝙡’ 𝙘𝙪𝙢 𝙗𝙤𝙮 said:

Apr 12, 2023 16:46:34 GMT -5 Teddy Flair said:

something about cooler space?

Imagine the surprise on her face when you guys get there and she goes to grab a water just to find a whole ham and a few shots of fireball

Imagine the surprise on your face when you get my package full of deodorant, three dozen hard boiled eggs and left over Easter ham.

[Crab Mech]

WIFE: "Cold ham? Gross!"

TEDDY: "Don't knock it till you try it."

Lol

[Teddy Flair]

Apr 12, 2023 17:37:55 GMT -5 𝙡𝙞𝙡’ 𝙘𝙪𝙢 𝙗𝙤𝙮 said:

I put that exact prompt into chatgpt

INT. KITCHEN - DAY

A man, TEDDY, is packing a cooler for Bonnaroo while his wife looks on.

WIFE: "Teddy, I'm serious. Don't bring a ham to Bonnaroo. It's going to be hot and gross, and we have no way to cook it."

TEDDY: "But I need my ham fix. It's my Bonnaroo tradition!"

WIFE: "Your tradition? We've never brought a ham to Bonnaroo before!"

TEDDY grins and tosses a whole ham into the cooler.

TEDDY: "Exactly. It's a new tradition!"

WIFE shakes her head and leaves the kitchen.

CUT TO:

EXT. BONNAROO CAMPGROUND - DAY

Teddy and his wife have set up their tent, and Teddy eagerly goes to grab a beer from the cooler.

WIFE: "Let me get that for you."

She opens the cooler and her eyes widen in horror as she sees the ham and a few shots of Fireball.

WIFE: "Teddy! I told you not to bring the ham!"

TEDDY: "Relax, it's just a little ham. We'll eat it cold."

WIFE: "Cold ham? Gross!"

TEDDY: "Don't knock it till you try it."

He hands her a slice of ham, and she reluctantly takes a bite.

WIFE: "Ugh, it's so salty!"

TEDDY: "I know, isn't it great?"

He takes a shot of Fireball and offers her one.

TEDDY: "Come on, loosen up! It's Bonnaroo!"

WIFE: "No thanks. I'll stick to beer."

TEDDY: "Suit yourself. More for me!"

He takes another shot and does a little dance.

WIFE: "You're ridiculous."

TEDDY: "I know. But at least we have ham!"

His wife rolls her eyes and takes a swig of her beer, realizing she's stuck with a cooler full of ham for the rest of the weekend.

literally crying in my living room laughing at this

[Cokes]

May 12, 2022 16:26:37 GMT -5 LoveLuckLaughter said:

May 12, 2022 16:22:07 GMT -5 cdevaney said:

Wut

ERs are wild places man. Especially the psych side.

can confirm

one of my clients the other night drank his own urinal jug