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Well, this was my 3rd Roo, and I had a wonderful time! However, I'm wondering if my personal life has slipped too far into the "recluse" pattern to fully enjoy such a massive festival. It was weird, but several times throughout the weekend, I found myself looking/wishing for those wonderful connections with strangers that turn into new friends. I got very anxious whenever I'd get to a performance, looking around for nearby groups that maybe I could enjoy the show with. So, my procedure for several sets included me hanging out solo, eating some corn, and then wondering if everyone around me thought i was too weird or uncool to hang out with.
Why didn't I just strike up conversations with all the good people around me? fine question. Fine enough question that I have been pondering it since we left. I was there with a group, but I was watching most shows solo due to differing tastes within our small group. I just feel like a weirdo trying to mingle with groups when I'm solo. I kept thinking about how some people say that NYC can be a very lonely city, despite all the people. That made much more sense to me after this weekend.
Anyone else care to weigh in? I know my issues are all internal, but curious if anyone else has challenges with such events.
Post by Lawn Gnome on Jun 14, 2012 12:16:14 GMT -5
I have similar issues when I'm in big crowds without a group of friends. I don't think there's anything wrong with you; some people are just naturally more gregarious and outgoing.
-When I Hear My Name -Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground -Blue Orchid -Passive Manipulation -Red Rain -Death Letter -My Doorbell -Hotel Yorba -Same Boy You've Always Known -Lovesick -Little Ghost -We're Going to Be Friends -The Hardest Button to Button -Black Math -The Nurse -I Just Don't Know What to Do With Myself
Encore: -Ball and Biscuit -Seven Nation Army -Screwdriver
Post by monkybunney on Jun 14, 2012 13:23:41 GMT -5
What fromthebark & CokewhoreIsland said!! I can't eat corn because it wigs me out and turns me almost catatonic. Which is weird because I'm fine eating other things that you would think should send me far over the edge.
Hey man, I'm a professional weirdo, and fairly introverted, I'd be happy hang out with you and be weird at some shows next year!
Post by natedagreat on Jun 14, 2012 13:28:01 GMT -5
If I go to a show solo stylee, I just ask people around me where they are from and what their music taste is like. From here, you have a whole slew of conversation topics. However, some people don't like to be bothered before/during a show. So don't take it the wrong way. And share your corn as soon as you get to a good conversation, helps ease the social tension and you might get some thrown your way as well. The best random concert encounter is when you spend the whole leading up to a show chatting and then grinning at each other when the show gets going like you've been hanging out since high school.
If I go to a show solo stylee, I just ask people around me where they are from and what their music taste is like. From here, you have a whole slew of conversation topics. However, some people don't like to be bothered before/during a show. So don't take it the wrong way. And share your corn as soon as you get to a good conversation, helps ease the social tension and you might get some thrown your way as well. The best random concert encounter is when you spend the whole leading up to a show chatting and then grinning at each other when the show gets going like you've been hanging out since high school.
This^^ Corn makes me very introverted while I'm usually pretty outgoing. I do feel anxiety before I approach someone I don't know but if I sit and think all the what ifs over in my head I'll never speak so I take a deep breath and dive in. Usually whatever comes out of my mouth sounds stupid but most people will forgive shaky intros.
I guess being loud means most people can't simply ignore me.
But to echo others, just talk about the reason you're there (the music) and I can't see how you'd go wrong. As long as someone isn't in the middle of a conversation already, or the show hasn't yet started, you should be fine. If someone tells you to take a hike, just thank them and find someone else to talk to.
I feel like I'm giving relationship advice right now.
Welcome back Bonz, but I do not find it strange that your presence being requested in the Orgy thread and then you showing up, like it was the quacking Bonzai Bat Signal.
thanks all! I think the corn may be a contributing factor, since Roo is wildly different from my normal routine. I'm used to working out, eating some corn and listening to music by myself 3-4x a week (Lester Burnham?), so replace that with partying with eleventy billion people and I just get all weird.
My struggles are exactly why I should have went to the Friday Brunch. dumb mistake cause I know I would have met some super cool peeps.
thanks all! I think the corn may be a contributing factor, since Roo is wildly different from my normal routine. I'm used to working out, eating some corn and listening to music by myself 3-4x a week (Lester Burnham?), so replace that with partying with eleventy billion people and I just get all weird.
My struggles are exactly why I should have went to the Friday Brunch. dumb mistake cause I know I would have met some super cool peeps.
You are in OH look for inforoo meet ups near you plus there are plenty of fests/get togethers between now and Roo 13. Don't wait to be invited just jump on in when you can. Roo ppl are some of the most welcoming and inviting people ever.
I get what you are saying drifter, I am that way naturally. Generally, do not like people. The thought of striking up a random conversation with a person, let alone a group of people, at a show makes me cringe.
This year I hooked up with Camp Inforoo and thought I would make some new friends that I could get to know better and time goes by. I am not sure that happened, however I did meet some really good people.
I have never done well socially in a large group of people I dont know very well and this year was no exception. I do much better with one on one interaction.
I met people all day long at tents between shows and at the True Muic Lounge.
I was by myself a lot watching music but never have that alone feeling at Bonnaroo.
I had my most fun watching shows alone and not giving a quack. I very much enjoyed the few conversations I had around camp also.
I look enough like David Cross that I probably should have just blue myself before going into Centeroo. pretty sure that would have been a good icebreaker.
Post by chicojuarz on Jun 14, 2012 17:34:55 GMT -5
I dont think the performances are the best way to meet new people at festies. Meeting someone in the campgrounds or while having a snack at a picnic table its so much easier. At the shows I'm all quiet and awkward too.
Post by misterroosterny on Jun 14, 2012 18:26:42 GMT -5
Start with an ice breaker..."hey what time is it", "do you have a bowl", talk about past shows ....isnt it more awkward to purposely not talk to people than to sey hey whats up? Im in now way judging anyone, just saying that when you say something to someone who doesnt look questionable, chances are they will welcome conversation(especially w corn) and will make for less of a wait time. I also find that the sharing of corn becomes widespread from one person sharing onto the next and can turn a mix of people into a tight group during a show. Love thy neighbor. Sing and dance your ass off. You only live once and bonnaroo is the place to let your reservations in life go.
Post by dreamingtree on Jun 14, 2012 18:42:03 GMT -5
I always end up going to quite a few shows alone, and I do miss sharing the enjoyment with others, but even though I am friendly, I won't go out of my way to talk to people. If people talk to me then I always will chat with them but otherwise I am fine being on my own.
Luckily this year, i bumped into Airline, NoD, Zen, Jho, Krunchykat, Noage and others so I had like minded people with me or near me to enjoy. Wine helps my social skills a whole lot..... Although NoD and Airline didn't say much I chatted their ears off anyway Sorry guys!
Post by kidabstract on Jun 14, 2012 19:00:01 GMT -5
Haha....man, that's like the exact opposite of my approach.
I tend to immediately get into a conversation with anybody that is around me about whatever is on my mind. If they are cool enough to not shun me, then sweet. If not, I move on.
It also helps that I don't have anything resembling shame. And I'm ADHD.
Who are you most excited to see? Who is the best band you've seen so far? Where are you from? Have you been to Bonnaroo before?
Are those things real? Can I feel them? Does this rag smell like chloroform? Want to hear something really gross that happened to me in one of the portos? Have you ever hung out with a registered sex offender before? I'm guessing your cup size is a B. Am I right? Were you just checking out my package? I feel some chafing in a spot that's hard to see. Would you check it out for me? Hey, where are you going?
Bonnaroo is great because if it's Thursday you can ask what they plan on seeing for the weekend, or how their drive down was/where they're from, or what number Bonnaroo this is for them. If it's Friday you can talk about all that + how Thursday was. So on and so forth.
If you're seeing the same show as them at the same festival in the middle of nowhere, you have a thing or two in common. I'm not the most social person in the world, but I generally make a friend or two before each show I'm at alone or in a small group for.
Offer corn afterward you've made a few concert buddies. Eating up immediately before talking to someone can put people off.
Welcome back Bonz, but I do not find it strange that your presence being requested in the Orgy thread and then you showing up, like it was the quacking Bonzai Bat Signal.
I was solo the whole time as well, but I did like being able to bounce from show to show without worrying if so-and-so wants to stay. But it would've been nice to make some friends because at home I honestly know NO ONE that is into music and concerts so I'm usually solo there too. But I didn't see many other solo people and I feel awkward when approaching a group. My mind immediately thinks, "Why would they want to party with this 34 year old chubby girl when they have all their friends around to hang with?" So I just keep to myself and still have a great time.
drifter, I live in Dayton and go to Columbus at least monthly for concerts...maybe one day we'll meet.
Kitty.. I am in the same boat as you so to speak. I did Bonnaroo alone and truthfully, even though I was albe to strike up conversations with someone at each show, I arrive and left by my self. Yes, i would have loved to go to a few to have someone to go to the pit with or just hang out, but this year, bonnaroo offered some good quiet time. I got to take a nice afternoon nap every day, and still see some great shows. Maybe next year if you are solo again, we can meet up.
but I do not find it strange that your presence being requested in the Orgy thread and then you showing up, like it was the quacking Bonzai Bat Signal. 
Sorry guys!
