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He's been living in a different city for as long as I've really hung out with her. He's coming back to live in Buffalo in a month or so.
Juggs is right, sometimes it just helps to see it written out.
Yeah, basically do what Juggs said.
Also, as the person who has broken up a couple before (which I regret doing), you don't come off as a white in shining armor. You are forever associated with the ex-b/f and that limits the chance for anything legitimate to come out of it except for a few dates before she pulls a "I think I jumped into this too quickly, I need some space."
Post by Longtime and Frequent Poster on Nov 9, 2012 14:03:28 GMT -5
How long have you been friends with this girl? Is it someone you've just met recently and she's had a boyfriend the entirety of the friendship? Do you guys hang out just you two often? Juggs' advice is super good, but I'm just sort of wondering the context of yours and her's relationship.
He's been living in a different city for as long as I've really hung out with her. He's coming back to live in Buffalo in a month or so.
Juggs is right, sometimes it just helps to see it written out.
Yeah, basically do what Juggs said.
Also, as the person who has broken up a couple before (which I regret doing), you don't come off as a white in shining armor. You are forever associated with the ex-b/f and that limits the chance for anything legitimate to come out of it except for a few dates before she pulls a "I think I jumped into this too quickly, I need some space."
Or even worse....he makes a move and gets shot down. Then the girl and her boyfriend talk about him and he's branded as the dude who tried to break them up...which then kinda hurts chances if they do break up down the line.
How long have you been friends with this girl? Is it someone you've just met recently and she's had a boyfriend the entirety of the friendship? Do you guys hang out just you two often? Juggs' advice is super good, but I'm just sort of wondering the context of yours and her's relationship.
Few months, and yea she's been dating this guy the entire time.
As to hanging out, not really. It's mostly in groups unless I talk to her alone at a party or bar. I feel kind of weird about this whole thing so I haven't really pressed anything further than that.
Also, as the person who has broken up a couple before (which I regret doing), you don't come off as a white in shining armor.
Or a knight in shining armor, for that matter.
Ughhhh, leave me alone, I've been covering nights at work in addition to my regular daytime hours, so I'm lucky to not be passing out at my desk right now.
What do I do with all these caught feelings over this girl with a boyfriend?
She's really cool, incredibly nice, really cute, laughs at all my stupid jokes. I'm shook guys, shook.
What you don't do is make any overt moves. Not only can it sour whatever potential you may have with this girl later on, you come off looking like a creep. Stay friendly, keep a relationship, and just wait it out while you continue to keep your prospects open. Even if she comes to you and is all "oh, NoD, I'm so unhappy in my relationship. He hates the Cubs and knows nothing about modern electronic music," you stand your ground. If she breaks up with him at some point, slide right in. But you shouldn't do anything to prompt that, and here's why. If you somehow make a move and she goes for it, will you ever really be able to trust her? And if she doesn't, well you've just shot yourself in the foot.
Do everything Juggs said, Nicky T, and also you have to be very, very careful with the situation you're in right now: you don't want to get friend zone'd, but you also don't want to be the creeper who tried to break them up (as everyone else has said). I'd say try to hang out with her whenever you can to show her how nice and cool and funny you can be, just to get her sort of thinking. But 100% agree with Juggs, do NOT under any circumstances overtly hit on her or spill your guts on how you feel about her or, god forbid, make a move and try to kiss her or something. Just try to build a good friendship with her for now, (which is one of the strongest foundations of a relationship anyway) pay CLOSE attention if she starts to open up to you, and sort of keep your prospects while waiting to see what happens with her current relationship.
The tricky thing is, though, like I said, not to get stuck in the dreaded friend zone. I'd say that if you try to be funny and charming when hanging out with her, though (without, like I said, overtly hitting on her), she'll get the message. Girls know.
I'd say that if you try to be funny and charming when hanging out with her, though (without, like I said, overtly hitting on her), she'll get the message. Girls know.
Stay friendly, keep a relationship, and just wait it out while you continue to keep your prospects open.
This might be the best part of the advice. Be friends and keep your options open. Who knows what you might end up missing when you're crushing on someone that's unavailable. Maybe, you'll find out you like being friends with this girl and you get to bone a different girl.
Just the thought of guys like nodepression out on the prowl to steal girlfriends makes me shudder!
There will always be boys who want someone else's girl, but if you treat your lady well (which I am sure you do) and she is happy, she won't even notice or care.
Also it's funny to think of nodepression "out on the prowl" haha. He is just crushing and hopeful
We need an Inforoo bar games tour. now THAT would be fun. Darts, pool, trivia, shuffleboard, whatever all we could find to compete in. It would be like the Inforoo Bar Olympics. May as well throw in a drinking game although I'm pretty sure I would not be the winner at any of those.
We could swing the tour through multiple stops or just have a host city each time.
I actually started this post in semi-jest but am liking the idea!
Juggs, I just read your above advice and have to say that I am very, very impressed. You DID get awarded a heart by the Wizard of Oz - I already knew that you had the brain and the courage.