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I'm not the right person to talk to about it, though. I never expected anything from anyone. I've always hated those dating "rules". They wreak of misogyny.
Post by abrakapokus on Aug 23, 2012 7:58:29 GMT -5
3 dates isn't really enough to expect anything really. I think around three is when you decide if you move on to someone else or if this is a person you are going to try to build a relationship with.
First two times we were together I really enjoyed it but last night was just a little off. Tried holding her hand and sneaking a kiss but she wouldn't have either. Can't tell if she is really into me or if I am just humoring her because I'm foreign and she's bored?
We're going out again saturday. Feel like I will have a decision to make after that.
Post by Dave Maynar on Aug 23, 2012 8:11:39 GMT -5
She is Korean, right? Is there a different societal norm about such things over there? Hand holding and a kiss aren't out of line for a third date here, but it may be different there.
She is Korean, right? Is there a different societal norm about such things over there? Hand holding and a kiss aren't out of line for a third date here, but it may be different there.
Yeah, maybe you just tried to rape her but you don't know it.
She is Korean, right? Is there a different societal norm about such things over there? Hand holding and a kiss aren't out of line for a third date here, but it may be different there.
Yeah, maybe you just tried to rape her but you don't know it.
Welcome back Bonz, but I do not find it strange that your presence being requested in the Orgy thread and then you showing up, like it was the quacking Bonzai Bat Signal.
First two times we were together I really enjoyed it but last night was just a little off. Tried holding her hand and sneaking a kiss but she wouldn't have either. Can't tell if she is really into me or if I am just humoring her because I'm foreign and she's bored?
We're going out again saturday. Feel like I will have a decision to make after that.
If these took place in public I would say you probably are moving much faster than she is used to. From what I understand, PDAs aren't very common in general and certainly not for a new couple.
From what I know, PDA is huge here. The idea of couples is practically shoved down koreans' throats as a social norm. If you are in your 20s and not dating then there is something wrong with you. The thing is, from the many foreign guys who have tried dating korean girls, is that -to koreans-it is all about an image. Yes, as Dave suggested, they move very very slow, but will jump on the first chance to display that they have a significant other. That's why I thought hand-holding and a quick kiss by the subway stop on my way home would be in the bag.
The fact that she hesitated and denied me on both counts shows either a) I severely underestimated just how slow this girl wants to go b) she is playing me or b) my insecurities from getting screwed over in the past have followed me 7,000 miles across the world.
The fact that she hesitated and denied me on both counts shows either a) I severely underestimated just how slow this girl wants to go b) she is playing me or b) my insecurities from getting screwed over in the past have followed me 7,000 miles across the world.
It sounds like it might be a combination of B and C?
On the next date, how about taking the direct approach and just ASK HER how she feels about PDA. It's been my experience that talking about things prevents much misunderstanding. Good luck!
PS - you think maybe she's nervous about you having had pink eye? just a thought...
PS - you think maybe she's nervous about you having had pink eye? just a thought...
Man this never even crossed my mind.
Paranoia aside, I think what it really is is that she is just unsure about my being a foreigner. Korea is a very homogenous country. It's not the melting pot that is the United States. I think the girls here that do date foreigners have usually dabbled outside of Korea before, meaning they've at least visited Europe or North America or even gone to school there.
This girl I'm seeing has never even left Korea before, let alone date North American scum like myself. I can tell she is interested but she is probably unsure of how far she wants to go with this.
In other news- Friday is two of my coworkers' going away party, along with another coworker's birthday. I'm just going to get really drunk and not think about it.
Mar 14 Sheepdogs/Fitz & The Tantrums/City & Colour (Austin)
Mar 15 Jim James (Austin)
Apr 26 Jim James (Boston)
May 4 Clutch & The Sword (Portland ME)
Jun 8 DMB (Hartford)
Jun 21 Jim James (Northampton MA)
Jul 27-28 Newport Folk
Aug 6 Death Grips (Boston)
Oct 25-27 MOEMS
Just urban dictionary'd a "Pete Rose" to see what would come up. Wasn't disappointed.
Actually, I posted the picture from the Arrested Development episode (finale?) when the Narrator is talking about George Michael only getting to second base with Maeby but it was "head first."
Although I just looked at the Urban Dictionary meaning. Are Todd Akin jokes still funny?
Edit: Never mind, just saw the first definition. "Classy combination."
Im with Abra. No expectations. Though I will say that no matter how womens lib/feminist/etc a woman is - she appreciates being (non-creepily or overly so) pursued. Call when you say you will. Shoot her a text every now and then. DO the pursuing - don't leave it up to a lady to make all the first moves, especially in the beginning. jpbrez, I think you're doing it right. Even if she gave you a bit of a brush off, maybe just ask next date - you can even use the foreigner thing as your "excuse" for not knowing the "norm" when it comes to PDA. Good luck!!
We've hanged out a couple of times, and I think this has come to an end. We're still going to be friends. She is going to show me a place where I can start to learn Korean for free.
But new session started at school and two very cute new Korean teachers. One of which smiles at me a lot and goes out of her way to say hello and goodbye. And I don't even share any classes with her.
Post by chicojuarz on Aug 31, 2012 10:58:20 GMT -5
I'm supposed to go out with this girl next week. She basically jumped me a couple of weeks ago. I ended up with an unnoticed hickey!! I cannot be a 32 yr old man going around with a hickey.
I'm supposed to go out with this girl next week. She basically jumped me a couple of weeks ago. I ended up with an unnoticed hickey!! I cannot be a 32 yr old man going around with a hickey.
I'm supposed to go out with this girl next week. She basically jumped me a couple of weeks ago. I ended up with an unnoticed hickey!! I cannot be a 32 yr old man going around with a hickey.
Have I met and approved of this lady?!?
She was the blonde at the bar that was standing next to me. She's hot/cold. It's like whatever right now. You know?
EDIT: JHO look in the upcoming shows thread if you havent already.
Post by chicojuarz on Aug 31, 2012 11:22:04 GMT -5
I dunno. This one I met at a graduation party a couple of months ago. I met a woman at yoga a couple of weeks ago. If she's there again next week I might ask her to grab a drink sometime.
Basically I do this. I go places in a city of 3 million people and when there's a people next to me and I'm not wearing headphones, sometimes I talk to them. But I've only gone out with one woman since the breakup with my not-girlfriend.
but I do not find it strange that your presence being requested in the Orgy thread and then you showing up, like it was the quacking Bonzai Bat Signal. 
Even if she gave you a bit of a brush off, maybe just ask next date - you can even use the foreigner thing as your "excuse" for not knowing the "norm" when it comes to PDA. Good luck!!
