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I wanted to take this opportunity to clear the air about a few things that came up on this forum recently. A few days ago, my personal information was posted and, like a domino effect, many members of our Inforoo community took the opportunity to attack me and my character. Before I address these issues, please understand that I have no intentions of playing the victim role here. I am accountable for some of the things that transpired. However, I would like everyone to have an open mind as you read this.
Two years ago, I joined this forum for the same reasons many of you did, I love Bonnaroo. I also joined a chat room set up by some posters here. Many people were friendly right from the start. With that said, a few posters here did not welcome me with open arms, possibly due to my status as a newbie and my taste in hip-hop music. But I'm sure some of that had to do with my aggressive personality. When I say that, let me clarify what I mean. I typically say what's on my mind, I stand up for myself, I have strong opinions and I am steadfast in those opinions. Can this type of personality seem threatening at times? Sure, but I try to be conscious of the words and actions I deliver and its impact. Not always an easy endeavor as I'm sure each of you have something about your personality you try to work on maybe not always with success.
Back to my arrival to this forum. I tried to get to know a bunch of people both through adding value to threads, starting my own threads to show my thinking (and even with my brand of humor), and by going into the unauthorized Inforoo chat room. In that chat room, two members specifically gave me a hard time from the start, Boothead and EMoney. Their interactions with me ranged from scoffing at my opinions to getting personal. Boothead went out of his way to find out personal information on me, make comments about my dead mother, and try to ostracize me from the chat room community. EMoney followed suit like a lackey and continued the antagonism. Unfortunately, I did not always handle this well and I am fully aware of this and accountable. Instead of just not going into the chat room anymore, my competitive personality told me to still try to win them over and be a part of this great community in every way I can. But when things didn't go my way with them, I reacted immaturely and combatively. This gave me the reputation of being a hothead, that carried over onto the boards when chat room members labeled me the same way in the forum. Regardless, i never got into a threatening mode on the forum, though i have had spirited (even mean spirited) debates with people where i didn't use much tact. It's a work in progress with me. With that said, the two aforementioned posters are banned from Inforoo which is no surprise to many and hopefully gives you a little color to what I was dealing with. That will be the last time I give those two any attention in this thread.
Fast forward to last year. I was becoming an Inforoo and Bonnaroo veteran, my threads were getting positive attention, and I was bonding with many great members here. During that time I added a bunch of you to my personal Facebook page. This put me in a vulnerable position that I usually don't do, but I trusted most of the people here as good people who would be genuine with my personal information and my personality. Through this, I got to know a few of you on a personal level through FB chat, Words with Friends, other chat rooms, and even emails. I was really feeling comfortable within the Inforoo community despite some hiccups here and there. And speaking of those hiccups, let me address them here and from the heart.
For the record, I acted like a bully to Karosko and he didn't deserve it. For that, I apologize. I also acted immaturely with a Facebook incident with JHOinTN. And for that I apologize as well. However, I looked upon this as small incidents for the simple fact that no one addressed them with me as being damaging to my reputation. It's still no excuse for my actions, but I did think I was part of a community that embraced me and didn't think I had to worry about gossip about me snowballing to the events of this past week. Other incidents included a very contentious relationship with FlanzoNYC. What started as a heated hip-hop debate has gotten personal at times, albeit mostly in the chat room. It was incited about personal information he told me about my cousin's best friend. I was very protective over it as I am with most personal information and he sounded pretty cavalier about the whole thing. I didn't necessarily act properly toward him after that but it was also a two way street, he didn't try to work on more positive interactions with me either. I do feel contrite about some of my dealing with him, but it seems almost impossible to apologize to him in any way considering the atmosphere of defamatory information he bred this week in the solar stage board. He was the lightning rod for that attack and I find it despicable. So instead of engaging him further or going the completely opposite route of apologizing for my actions, I'm just going to ignore him fully and try to not give him any more thought. There are just some human beings that enjoy the game and play an innocent act while painting others to be monsters. But just as I learned this week about dealing with the attack on me, possibly i am labeling him incorrectly. I hope so. Thus, if he wants to start over with me to show me another side to him, I am open to it.
Now I would like to clear the air about the personal information posted about me this week. If this happened on another forum, I probably wouldn't address it or explain myself. But this is more than a board. We have a chance to see other once a year and I was even excited to go to the brunch this year, which now I'm of course debating to say the least. So for the record, my name is named removed. I'm from Middletown, NY. I do have an aggressive personality. I did have a girlfriend that I hurt that posted my information to thedirty.com (I'm sure many of you have had an awful relationship where you didn't act well, now imagine if they were vengeful and posted your information online). I work in sales management and also run various different social media accounts that is now part of a small business I run. I do consider myself a good person and I know a bunch of you found that out through chats we have had. I am an intense guy that makes me successful, however it also makes me too aggressive at times. Again, something I am trying to work on. I still love Bonnaroo and Inforoo. I am NOT a stalker. I am not a psychotic. I do not have "files" on people here. I don't wish anyone harm or truly want to fight anyone at Bonnaroo. I am not a monster. I am actually very generous to people and have a sharp sense of humor, who is also a flawed human being like each of you surely are. But overall, I'm a member of Inforoo just like you and I love the festival.
What hurt me most this past week was not just the personal information that was posted about me that the mods also took 4 days to delete, but how so many people started taking the gossip said about me as gospel. One person made a comment out of half truths or all out lies, then 3 more people ran with it. Then those 3 messaged all their Inforoo Facebook friends "warning" them about me. Then others tried to play pop psychologist on me. What hurt more were the people I was Facebook friends with, people who I did chat with, people who knew name removed and not some online persona named Sproat, that turned around and started believing the hype, deleted me from Facebook, and cast me to the side. In all this time, not one of you reached out to me to address these issues from one human being to the next. Lono was the only one who actually seemed to care on a personal level about my feelings about this. Again, I don't want to play the role of victim but put yourself in my shoes this week and tell me how that would feel. But I'm a big boy, I'll survive. That doesn't make the events of this week hurt any less.
I hope this brought clarity to the situation and you see where I am coming from. I don't expect anyone to accept me, but I'm sure hoping that you do. I truly want to be a part of this community and I want to attend the brunch. If you don't want me there, I'll understand. But I do hope you address any concerns with me directly and not sweep it under the rug until it explodes again. That would be very disappointing. Again, I apologize to those I may have hurt or alarmed in the past. I mean no malicious attention. I know I can get carried away at times and make no excuses for that. But I would love for you to get to know me on a personal level. From there you can make judgements about me.
-Chris
Last Edit: May 8, 2013 8:28:27 GMT -5 by nature boy: name removed by request - Back to Top
Very well written. I will personally give you the benefit of the doubt for now. Prove you deserve it.
Bacon, I am going to say this with the best intentions, especially since I am trying to show contrition and do not want to say anything out of anger. But you were one of the main antagonists this week and facilitated a lot of hate through things that were not necessarily factual. So you were no better than FlanzoNYC, I just didn't have any more energy to also address you. So while I have to prove myself to many people here, the only way I'll spend any energy of work on you is if you do the same. Your actions were hateful and damaging, and if that's NOT a glimpse of who you are, prove it to me. If not, we don't have to interact with each other. Your choice, but I'm open to it. It's a two way street with us.
Well I went back to see exactly what I said about you and to see if any of it was untrue to find that one of my posts was edited by adam. I don't remember what I said in that post but I stand behind everything else I said. By the way were you the Lollaleaks guy?
Well I went back to see exactly what I said about you and to see if any of it was untrue to find that one of my posts was edited by adam. I don't remember what I said in that post but I stand behind everything else I said. By the way were you the Lollaleaks guy?
I refuse to go back and forth with you, that's not what this thread is about. But I will say if Adam deleted content, there was a real good reason for it. If you stand behind everything else you said, that's up to you. I'm not going to attempt to change your mind but just know the statements you made were based off things that weren't necessarily true.
Post by LoveLuckLaughter on Mar 10, 2012 18:31:27 GMT -5
I've been MIA for some time, and I don't know anything about this situation. However, I have never had a negative interaction with Chris here or during the times we have chatted on FB. I see no reason to doubt his genuineness. And, truth be told, I would have never shown my avatar again on here if it were me who had been spoken about in such a way, so he certainly possesses a lot of commitment to the board in posting this.
We're all a mess of paradoxes. Believing in things we know can't be true. We walk around carrying feelings too complicated and contradictory to express. But when it all becomes too big, and words aren't enough to help get it all out, there's always music.
Sproat. Well presented. Please come to brunch. It would probably be the best way to dispell any negativity.
Thanks for the comments. I would certainly like to go to the brunch. But it's not only the case if people are comfortable with me being there but also if I am comfortable with them. I just don't want to put myself in a negative or volatile situation during the happiest festival on Earth. I really hope I'm there though.
Care to address the issue that you threatened physical violence against a rooster should you see them at the brunch and also the "alleged" real life confrontation vs. a rooster at Bonnaroo?
Care to address the issue that you threatened physical violence against a rooster should you see them at the brunch and also the "alleged" real life confrontation vs. a rooster at Bonnaroo?
Sure. I apologized about the Karosko incident. I addressed that both FlanzoNYC and I got carried away with our interactions and I admitted that I was out of line. And I have no remorse for Boothead and EMoney. That's probably a hateful approach but I'm coming to terms for a lot of things here. This is a vulnerable spot for me and I'm trying to process it all. I don't want this thread to turn into a finger pointing session, but I will try to address things as honestly and humbly as possible.
I've been MIA for some time, and I don't know anything about this situation. However, I have never had a negative interaction with Chris here or during the times we have chatted on FB. I see no reason to doubt his genuineness. And, truth be told, I would have never shown my avatar again on here if it were me who had been spoken about in such a way, so he certainly possesses a lot of commitment to the board in posting this.
Thank you for the kind words. You were actually one of the first people I thought of when the negative attacks were piling up on me. I remembered our Facebook conversations and was hoping you weren't going to jump ship considering you got to know me personally for a few brief glimpses. Thank you for not jumping ship. You don't know how much that means to me and during this tough situation it really goes a long way.
I just hope to see you squash the threats and offline beef. There are plenty of people on here that I butt heads with about many topics. rdk for example. but we were able to enjoy a beer together after Radiohead a few weekends ago no problem and were completely civil. I hope you can do the same. I respect your willingness to come clean and take responsibility for your actions and admit your flaws. It's something I try to do also.
Feel free to come to brunch. I haven't had much interaction with you but the supposed slapping incident kind of made me weary, You spewed some pretty offensive slurs in the chat as well but maybe that is just part of your internet persona.
I'm sure nobody would be overly upset if you came.
edit: I'd also like to note that you handled this very well.
Last Edit: Mar 10, 2012 19:06:36 GMT -5 by Deleted - Back to Top
I've been MIA for some time, and I don't know anything about this situation. However, I have never had a negative interaction with Chris here or during the times we have chatted on FB. I see no reason to doubt his genuineness. And, truth be told, I would have never shown my avatar again on here if it were me who had been spoken about in such a way, so he certainly possesses a lot of commitment to the board in posting this.
Thank you for the kind words. You were actually one of the first people I thought of when the negative attacks were piling up on me. I remembered our Facebook conversations and was hoping you weren't going to jump ship considering you got to know me personally for a few brief glimpses. Thank you for not jumping ship. You don't know how much that means to me and during this tough situation it really goes a long way.
We're all a mess of paradoxes. Believing in things we know can't be true. We walk around carrying feelings too complicated and contradictory to express. But when it all becomes too big, and words aren't enough to help get it all out, there's always music.
I just hope to see you squash the threats and offline beef. There are plenty of people on here that I butt heads with about many topics. rdk for example. but we were able to enjoy a beer together after Radiohead a few weekends ago no problem and were completely civil. I hope you can do the same. I respect your willingness to come clean and take responsibility for your actions and admit your flaws. It's something I try to do also.
I am going to stay out of chat rooms and if I get into a debate with someone on the board, I will try to do it in a very unemotional manner. However, contrary to popular belief I have not threatened anyone off line (in person, via phone, or even Facebook if that counts as off line). They have been limited to silly chat rooms. I don't even believe I threatened someone on this board, although I've gotten very aggressive. If I did threaten anyone on this board, no mod warned me or banned me. But I do apologize for that if it happened.
Feel free to come to brunch. I haven't had much interaction with you but the supposed slapping incident kind of made me weary, You spewed some pretty offensive slurs in the chat as well but maybe that is just part of your internet persona.
I'm sure nobody would be overly upset if you came.
edit: I'd also like to note that you handled this very well.
I'm not going to hide behind the ol' Internet persona excuse although there is some merit to it. But any hurtful actions I've made, I own my end of it.
dont know the incident, dont really care. I have respect for anyone that can admit they made mistakes. Its funny how Im teaching my daughter that when in volatile situations its best to count to ten before responding..also funny that this rule doesnt escape us as we grow older. Its tough to bite your tongue errrrrr stop your fingers from typing sometimes. Sproat I hope you continue to be a contributing member to this community. I look forward to meeting you at brunch.
Welcome back Bonz, but I do not find it strange that your presence being requested in the Orgy thread and then you showing up, like it was the quacking Bonzai Bat Signal.
dont know the incident, dont really care. I have respect for anyone that can admit they made mistakes. Its funny how Im teaching my daughter that when in volatile situations its best to count to ten before responding..also funny that this rule doesnt escape us as we grow older. Its tough to bite your tongue errrrrr stop your fingers from typing sometimes. Sproat I hope you continue to be a contributing member to this community. I look forward to meeting you at brunch.
Easier said than done. I wish I could just take a negative comment in stride. I hope to meet you at the brunch.
This thread is a breath of fresh air after everything that went down this week. Rock on Sproat and everyone that is posting positively!
Considering the positive environment at Bonnaroo, I'm surprised some of us don't get it and move to negativity at times. I wish I could embody the spirit of the fest. Thanks for the kind words.
I have been guility of speaking too quickly, of judging others, of making major mistakes, of hurting people I love and who love me....THAT'S LIFE!!!! Part of growing up (no matter how old we are) is learning to apologize AND then not doing the same things that have caused trouvble over and over again..
Not sure what the hell you did or why you boys are fighting like children in chatrooms, but I read your entire book, I mean post , and whoever is upset with you, I sincerely hope you all can move past it!
I have been guility of speaking too quickly, of judging others, of making major mistakes, of hurting people I love and who love me....THAT'S LIFE!!!! Part of growing up (no matter how old we are) is learning to apologize AND then not doing the same things that have caused trouvble over and over again..
Not sure what the hell you did or why you boys are fighting like children in chatrooms, but I read your entire book, I mean post , and whoever is upset with you, I sincerely hope you all can move past it!
Great words. I can only do my part in this matter. If those that have issues with me can get past it and accept this at face value, great. If not, I can't force them, I can only change my actions and present myself in a favorable manner.
I have been guility of speaking too quickly, of judging others, of making major mistakes, of hurting people I love and who love me....THAT'S LIFE!!!! Part of growing up (no matter how old we are) is learning to apologize AND then not doing the same things that have caused trouvble over and over again..
Not sure what the hell you did or why you boys are fighting like children in chatrooms, but I read your entire book, I mean post , and whoever is upset with you, I sincerely hope you all can move past it!
I second that ....not sure exactly what happened but wanted to say I hope it works out and well written