02/08 Tool 02/11 Jeff Mangum 02/17 of Montreal 02/29 Blind Pilot 03/31 The Naked & The Famous 05/14 M83 and I Break Horses 05/19 Flaming Lips, Young the Giant, Dawes and AWOLNATION 06/07 Bonnaroo 2012!!! 06/13 Roger Waters 07/28 Toadies
I couldn't agree more. This has been my mantra for years. ...I was talking about getting comfortable at home after work with a friend the other day, and she said, "Mayo, you're pants are off before you pass the kitchen counter." She's right. And the kitchen counter is about 5' from my front door.
And clearly you aren't a rapist (I hope) but the way you pop into any thread where a woman happens to be lamenting her lack of ride to Bonnaroo and tell them to come hop on your bus sounds extremely rapey.
April 12-14th - Indio, CA - Coachella Weekend 1
May 3-5th - Memphis, TN - Beale St. Music Festival
June 13-16th - Manchester, TN - Bonnaroo
July 12-14th - Louisville, KY - Forecastle Festival
August 2-4th - Chicago, IL - Lollapalooza
September 27-29th - Atlanta, GA - TomorrowWorld
October 25-27th - Asheville, NC - Mountain Oasis
1. A Short-Sleeved Button-Down Shirt. It is the shirt of a man who has given up on life, who has few things left to live for, save a lukewarm Hot Pocket and a rerun of Two And A Half Men. Wearing this shirt will actually prevent you from succeeding in life, from prospering, and from fulfilling your dreams. Avoid at all costs.
2. Running Shoes In Any Context Other Than Running. If you are the kind of man who, on his way out for a night on the town or an afternoon with friends, decides to finish his otherwise respectable outfit of decent jeans and a well-cut shirt with a pair of scuffed New Balances, ugh. That’s all you deserve, a resounding “ugh.” It’s the exquisite disappointment of scanning a good-looking guy who seems to have his sartorial act together for the most part — who at least decides to present himself to society with a modicum of effort — and stopping just below the ankles to realize the outfit was all for naught. He finished things off with the footwear equivalent of room-temperature McDonald’s french fries. Were you not aware that a well-made pair of loafers are just as comfortable, and require the same amount of lace-tying, if not slightly less? Well, now you are. Now there is absolutely no excuse to ever appear amongst fellow humans wearing such unfortunate shoes.
3. Deep V-Neck T Shirt. "a man who is so insistent upon showing off his chest hair and pecs is far too vain to consider — it’s all of the trappings of cleavage with absolutely none of the bouncy, voluptuous benefits. Oh, and if you’ve ever worn a V-Neck T Shirt with a scarf, you are too much of a d-bag to live on this planet anymore."
4. Cargo Pants/ Shorts. Unless you are currently a member of a branch of a military, in which you are required both by your superior and necessity to wear a pair of these, you must never put them on. It just looks so incredibly uncomfortable, a pair of leg tubes being weighed down by these plush pockets filled with — what are they filled with? Spare change? Extra wallets? Condoms? (Just kidding, no one in cargo shorts has sex.) In any case, it’s just incredibly unflattering. And this goes quadruple if they are made out of that swish-swish windbreaker material.
5. Tribal Necklaces. Whether made of hemp, pooka shells, tribal beads, leather cords, or all of the above (good God, all of the above) there is never an occasion to wear these monstrosities. You know where they are acceptable, and even attractive? When they are on the people who actually wear/ create/ have some significance tied to them. But you know who you never see wearing them? Said people. You know who walks around in these, slapping you in the face with all of their unfortunateness? Whitey McDudebro. That’s who. These necklaces are just the worst in every way. You may think they add a bit of culture or exoticism, but they just make you look like the whitest whitey to ever resemble a sheet of paper. Avoid at all costs.
^ PS: So, according to that article, a guy wearing running shoes w/cargo shorts & a tribal necklace must be avoided at all costs. *WHEW* It's a good thing I don't know any guys who... oh, wait. Nevermind.
It’s the exquisite disappointment of scanning a good-looking guy who seems to have his sartorial act together for the most part — who at least decides to present himself to society with a modicum of effort — and stopping just below the ankles to realize the outfit was all for naught. He finished things off with the footwear equivalent of room-temperature McDonald’s french fries.