"Guilt or innocence, that's not my job. It's my duty to pick up scum-sucking punks like yourself who are accused of a crime. A jury of twelve really stupid people who are easily swayed by rich, fat-cat, slimy lawyers, who'll do anything but tell the truth, will sit in judgment of you. It's as American as a burrito."
Post by lizardking0729 on Mar 15, 2007 11:54:49 GMT -5
Naked Gun 33 1/3, I used to watch that movie all the time when i was a kid
This is a long one but one of the best monologues in a movie ever (and has one of my favorite actors in it):
"Well, fu*k you, too. Fu*k me, fu*k you, fu*k this whole city and everyone in it. Fu*k the panhandlers, grubbing for money, and smiling at me behind my back. Fu*k the squeegee men dirtying up the clean windshield of my car. Get a fu*king job! Fu*k the Sikhs and the Pakistanis bombing down the avenues in decrepit cabs, curry steaming out their pores, stinking up my day. Terrorists in f**king training. SLOW THE FU*K DOWN! Fu*k the Chelsea boys with their waxed chests and pumped up biceps. Going down on each other in my parks and on my piers, jingling their dicks on my Channel 35. Fu*k the Korean grocers with their pyramids of overpriced fruit and their tulips and roses wrapped in plastic. Ten years in the country, still no speaky English? Fu*k the Russians in Brighton Beach. Mobster thugs sitting in cafés, sipping tea in little glasses, sugar cubes between their teeth. Wheelin' and dealin' and schemin'. Go back where you fu*king came from! Fu*k the black-hatted Chassidim, strolling up and down 47th street in their dirty gabardine with their dandruff. Selling South African apartheid diamonds! Fu*k the Wall Street brokers. Self-styled masters of the universe. Michael Douglas, Gordon Gekko wannabe mother fu*kers, figuring out new ways to rob hard working people blind. Send those Enron jerkstores to jail for FU*KING LIFE! You think Bush and Cheney didn't know about that sh*t? Give me a fu*king break! Tyco! Worldcom! Fu*k the Puerto Ricans. 20 to a car, swelling up the welfare rolls, worst fu*kin' parade in the city. And don't even get me started on the Dom-in-i-cans, 'cause they make the Puerto Ricans look good. Fu*k the Bensonhurst Italians with their pomaded hair, their nylon warm-up suits, their St. Anthony medallions, swinging their, Jason Giambi, Louisville slugger, baseball bats, trying to audition for the Sopranos. Fu*k the Upper East Side wives with their Hermes scarves and their fifty-dollar Balducci artichokes. Overfed faces getting pulled and lifted and stretched, all taut and shiny. You're not fooling anybody, sweetheart! Fu*k the uptown brothers. They never pass the ball, they don't want to play defense, they take five steps on every lay-up to the hoop. And then they want to turn around and blame everything on the white man. Slavery ended one hundred and thirty seven years ago. Move the fu*k on! Fu*k the corrupt cops with their anus violating plungers and their 41 shots, standing behind a blue wall of silence. You betray our trust! Fu*k the priests who put their hands down some innocent child's pants. Fu*k the church that protects them, delivering us into evil. And while you're at it, fu*k JC! He got off easy! A day on the cross, a weekend in hell, and all the hallelujahs of the legioned angels for eternity! Try seven years in quackin' Otisville, J! f**k Osama Bin Laden, Al Qaeda, and backward-as*, cave-dwelling, fundamentalist as*holes everywhere. On the names of innocent thousands murdered, I pray you spend the rest of eternity with your seventy-two whores roasting in a jet-fuel fire in hell. You towel headed camel jockeys can kiss my royal Irish as*! Fu*k Jacob Elinsky, whining malcontent. Fu*k Francis Xavier Slaughtery my best friend, judging me while he stares at my girlfriend's ass. Fu*k Naturelle Riviera, I gave her my trust and she stabbed me in the back, sold me up the river, fu*king bit*h. Fu*k my father with his endless grief, standing behind that bar sipping on club sodas, selling whisky to firemen, cheering the Bronx bombers. Fu*k this whole city and everyone in it. From the row-houses of Astoria to the penthouses on Park Avenue, from the projects in the Bronx to the lofts in Soho. From the tenements in Alphabet City to the brownstones in Park slope to the split-levels in Staten Island. Let an earthquake crumble it, let the fires rage, let it burn to fu*king ash and then let the waters rise and submerge this whole rat-infested place."
*I apologize for length but its a great monologue, seen form the context of the movie, stirs up some mighty feelings*
"Yeah, something's happening here alright. The world is changing and this is the center of it right now...or the one of many centers. It's alot like music. Computers are like that. You can never explain the feelings or connections to anyone else. Figuring something-out, something that's never been understood before is a rhythmic experience."
(One of my favorite movies ever)
Last Edit: Mar 15, 2007 15:32:54 GMT -5 by Guest - Back to Top